Nobody's Home
by bauerfreak
Summary: AU: Nick and Sara have a daughter again. This time, her name is Kelsey, and she's a heinous beeotch. Find out what's up her ass. Warning: Scenes of selfmutilation!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey, there! So, I know the last thing I need to be doing is starting yet another series, but here we go! Actually, I'm not sure to make this a series or not, so I'm counting on you to let me know. Mally is a little angel for the most part, so in this one, the daughter will be a hanous bitch for the most part (I love Nick having a daughter, if you can't tell). This chapter doesn't have much, but later she'll be the devil's spawn, with real bad problems. Sound like a kickin' good time? Let me know in a review!

Nick Stokes frantically paced around his kitchen, waiting for his friend John to pick up on the other end of the line. He'd been frantically calling people for a while now, hoping to pick up a single thread, but no luck so far. This was one of the last numbers he knew, so he crossed his fingers.

"John?" he asked, "Hi, it's Nick Stokes. I'm so sorry to call you at this hour. We can't find Kelsey. She was supposed to get home at eleven, and it's almost one o'clock."

A tired John Groves responded, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

"Nick, I haven't seen her. She hasn't been around here tonight. Courtney got home at eleven thirty and she didn't mention anything about Kelsey."

Just then, the back door opened to the Stokes home, and fifteen year old Kelsey slowly walked in, looking tired and ruffled, but just fine.

"John, she just walked in. She's okay." He reported, relieved, but feeling the anger boil up. "I'm so sorry to wake you up." Nick glared over at his daughter, now with his hand on his hip. "Thanks again."

Half angry, half relieved, Nick walked over to Kelsey and hugged her. "Thank GOD you're okay." He said as he clenched her tightly, taking in her familiar scent. Courtney was worried. Her dad wouldn't be this happy for too much longer. She knew the relief would soon be overtaken by the quest for the truth.

Nick pulled away after a good hug, as she expected, and put his hands on her shoulders. "Where the hell have you been, Kelsey Marie?" he demanded of her, looking dead on into her eyes. It made Kelsey uncomfortable and she looked away.

"We lost track of the time." She tried, searching for an answer. It almost sounded like a question.

"By two hours? Two whole hours?" He raised his voice, dropping his arms and putting them back on his hips. She nodded timidly. "You've got to be kidding me! Do you expect me to believe that?"

"Yes! We were playing basketball over at Finney Park." Kelsey then turned her forearms out to show the scrapes from the game, hoping this excuse would do the trick.

Nick gently lifted her left arm up to look at the scrapes.

"You've got asphalt stuck in there." He informed her, taking her by the wrist and leading his daughter towards the kitchen sink. He let the water run until it was warm. "Start washing that out with soap. I need to call your mother. She's out looking for you with Mrs. Jenkins."

The soap stung against Kelsey's fresh cuts, but that was not worrying her as much as the look of disappointment on her father's face. Nick was not Kelsey's biological father, however. Her real dad left her mom and Kelsey when she was just six months old. Kelsey hardly ever heard from her real dad. Nick started dating their mom, Sara, when Kelsey was two. For baby Kelsey, Nick was the only father figure she'd ever known. They married two years later and have been a family ever since. In recent months, Kelsey began to use the "You're not my real father" catchphrase whenever she was in trouble. Of course, Nick had been the one filling the role of dad since she was two, including bedtime stories, afternoon outings, hugs, kisses, and loving discipline.

Kelsey admitted that she and Nick always had a better father-daughter relationship than almost anyone else she knew, but she didn't let him know that nowadays. She could talk about important things with him and he was actually home a lot, unlike many other fathers she knew. Kelsey considered Nick to be her real father, but teen angst caused her to reach deep down for anything to throw back at him. In the back of her mind, the phrase always lingered as a weapon fully loaded, ready to be fired.

Nick picked up the phone and dialed Mrs. Jenkins' cell phone. He paced, which was never a good sign.

"Baby? It's me. She's back home and she's okay…yes….I'll wait for you to get here…bye." He hung up the phone and walked back over to the sink. "How's it coming?"

"Okay." She answered shortly, beginning to wash the suds off her arm.

"We probably better put some of the cream crap your mom puts on. Neosporin." He grabbed a clean towel from a drawer. "Come here." He gently pressed the towel down over her arm and led her to the kitchen table. There, he blotched her arm dry with the towel.

"Where does she keep that stuff?"

"In the medicine cabinet in the bathroom." She told him, dreading the sting. "Dad, I'm fine."

"No. We're better safe than sorry. We don't want it to get infected. I can't believe you left it this long." He rummaged around in the downstairs bathroom and finally found what he was looking for.

Kelsey moaned. "That stuff stings!"

Nick was not in the mood and gave her a look.

"Well, if you'd been home on time, this probably wouldn't have happened." He expressed as he sat back down at the table. Kelsey buried her head in her spare arm and laid her left arm on the table, her dark brown gentle curls spilling over on the wood. As Nick applied the ointment, she took a quick, painful breath in and jerked her arm back a little.

"Hold still, baby." He took hold of her left fingers with his spare hand.

"Sorry, it burns like hell."

Nick finished rubbing the ointment onto her arm and took one last glance at the injury.

"Alright, now go up to your room, and when your mom gets in, we'll come in to talk."

Kelsey's teen angst began to build up. She began to say, "You can't tell me what to do." But Nick had been expecting it and interrupted her mid-sentence.

"Go!" he said calmly but firmly before she could finish. They stared each other down for a couple seconds and then Kelsey hastily got up from her chair and stomped up the stairs. Nick put his head in his hands and waited for his wife to return.

About ten minutes later, Sara returned home, tossing her things on the counter, looking exhausted. Nick got up from the table where he had been sitting and thinking. Sara's face was much softer now that her daughter was home safely. She walked to the table and kissed her husband gently on the lips.

"Is she up in her room?" Her voice called out, sounding tired.

"Yeah. I told her we'd be up to talk." He tried to calm and comfort her, gently stroking her arms as she slumped against him.

"What did she say?"

"Said they lost track of time. Either she's lying or being totally irresponsible." He let go of his wife and leaned on the chair as she paced a little.

"Either way, I'm going to skin that girl for putting me through all this."

Just then, the phone rang, snapping them from their trance.

"Hi Nick, it's John."

"Hey, there, what's up?"

"Nick, I went in to Courtney's room to check on her right after you called and she wasn't in there. Snuck in the back door a few minutes later, but we were waiting up for her."

"So they were out together?"

"Yeah, I guess they must've met up after 11:30. Courtney must've climbed out her window after we went to bed. From what we've gotten out of her so far, a bunch of them were out at the lake drinking."

"They were drinking?" he repeated. He looked over at his wife, her mouth opened wide. Nick couldn't believe he hadn't noticed a difference in Kelsey. Before he could stop her, Sara was storming up the stairs in a hissy, and Nick was left to end the conversation.

"How many kids were there?"

"Courtney said about thirty."

"That many?" he sighed, running a hand through his hair, "Well, I better get upstairs quick. Sara is tearing her to pieces. I appreciate you calling."

"No problem, Nick. I'm sure we'll talk again soon."

Nick hung up and rushed up the stairs, now more angry because he'd been lied to. He could hear his wife's voice frantically yelling behind his daughter's closed door.

"Drinking alcohol at the age of fifteen? Have you been listening to a word we've said for the past fifteen years?" Nick heard his wife rant. He stepped in and closed the door, so not to awake their five year old daughter, Chloe, a product of his marriage to Sara.

"Kelsey, I need you to level with me right now." Nick interrupted, looking down at her seriously, as she sat on her bed. "I just got off the phone with Courtney's dad. Are you ready to tell us what really went on?"

"What is this, an interrogation?" she snapped, looking between her two parents, standing in judgment.

Nick folded his arms and glared at her.

"You'd better watch your mouth. I'm gonna lose my temper here real quick."

Kelsey collapsed onto her bed and put her head in her hands. They just didn't understand that teens didn't tell their parents everything.

"Okay…" She moaned, knowing they wouldn't let her sleep until they knew what had really gone on. Sara sat on the edge of her bed and Nick pulled the chair out from Kelsey's desk. "Colin, Megan and I went out to the movie and it ended at ten. So then we went to Finney Park to hang out. We played a couple games of basketball." She lifted her arm to remind them of her injury, hoping it would earn her a little pity.

"Then what?" Nick probed quickly.

"Then some other kids showed up. I didn't know them but Colin did. They invited us to the lake."

"What time was it then?"

"10:45."

"You should've headed home right then." He looked down at the floor, and then back up in disappointment.

"Okay, I'm sorry!" She snapped, "I screwed up!"

"Did you drink anything?" Her mother asked. Kelsey sighed.

"I had one beer. That's all. Other kids were drinking more."

"That makes it better?" He asked in disbelief. "Do you know what could've happened if the police showed up? All that underage drinking? That kind of stuff goes on your record. Not to even mention the fact that you're diabetic! You were so irresponsible!"

"I researched it on the Internet! As long as I ate beforehand and only drank a little, I would be fine. And I am. I just checked my blood sugar."

Nick let out a disappointed sigh, not believing she had actually planned this.

"I'm so proud to know my fifteen year old daughter knows how to drink responsibly." He chastised her, and Kelsey immediately looked ashamed, wishing she hadn't just told them that.

"I'm just tired. I want to go to bed." She laid down on the bed and put her right arm over her eyes.

"We wanted to go to bed two hours ago."

"I know. I'm a horrible daughter."

"Alright, we'll talk about this tomorrow when we've all had some sleep." Nick decided, getting up and pushing his chair back under her desk.

"Can't wait." Kelsey muttered, kicking off her shoes. She wouldn't even bother to change into her pj's, she was so tired.

Her mother got up, leaned over, and kissed Kelsey on the cheek.

"I'm glad you're home safe."

Nick got up and put his hand on Sara's back in support. When his wife was done, Nick sat on the bed and leaned over the girl he'd helped raise for the past thirteen years.

"Just yell at me in the morning." She told him, closing her eyes. "I can't take any more."

"How's your arm?"

"Fine."

"We'll have to keep up with that Neosporin." He looked down at her for a moment, looking so tranquil and peaceful for now, and he was thankful she got home safe. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart." He kissed her gently on the cheek and stroked her face with his thumb for a moment. "And I love you." Nick whispered, before getting up. Kelsey didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. Nick knew she hated him right now, but that was to be expected.

At 8:47, Sara and Nick heard their youngest child's feet on the stairs down the hall. Sara had been laying in bed for a while. Once she heard Chloe, she nudged her husband.

"Munchkin's up."

Nick rubbed his eyes and looked at the alarm clock.

"Already? Eight forty five? That heathen."

"We better get down there before she burns the house down."

"You stay in bed for a while longer and sleep. I'll take care of Miss Sunshine." He leaned over and gave his wife a series of slow, tender kisses.

Nick had decided last night that Kelsey would wake up when he had to, since she had kept him up all night. He opened her door and flipped the lights on.

"Time to get up, Kel!" He announced. Kelsey was still dressed in her hipster jeans and tanktop she was wearing the night before.

"Why?" She moaned, the way only a tired teen girl can, as she shielded her eyes from the burning spring sun.

"There's no reason for you to get to sleep in." He told her, "If you can party that hard, you can work that hard too."

Nick walked over to her window and opened the blinds, pouring the morning sun into her room. He went to her closet and fished out some fresh clothes as he continued. "Why don't you go take a shower and change your clothes. We'll be downstairs. I better hear the shower in five minutes."

He deposited her new clothes on her bed, and then left, hurrying down the stairs. Still clad in his pajamas, he made it just in time before his other daughter could cause too much mess. She was about to pour herself a bowl of Cheerios, which would have ended in disaster.

"Woah, there." He grabbed the box and fished it away from her reaching hands. "Let daddy help you with that."

"Hi daddy!" She exclaimed. She put her arms around him to give him a hug, only reaching just above his waist.

"Good morning." He ruffled her chestnut hair a little and planted a kiss on the top. Nick treasured his youngest and only biological child because she was still in the stage when she loved being around her daddy, and wasn't ashamed to admit it. He could still play with her, and get plenty of unforced hugs and kisses. Those days were gone with Kelsey. "How'd you sleep, peanut?"

"Good." She stared longingly at the cereal being poured. "Give me lots, daddy, I'm starving!"

"We don't want it to overflow when we add the milk." He patiently explained. "You can have seconds if you're still hungry. How's that?"

"Okay." She agreed, nodding her little head once firmly. "Daddy, why were you yelling last night?"

Nick looked down at her, concerned that he'd upset her.

"You heard me yelling?"

"You woke me up," She complained, "And mommy too."

"I'm sorry, baby." He poured the milk. "Kelsey didn't get home until very late, and mom and I were very worried. So when she got home, we needed to talk. I must've talked louder than I thought."

Nick picked up the bowl of cereal and a spoon and took his daughter by the hand, leading her to the table.

"You don't need to worry about it."

Chloe seemed to accept her father's explanation, and began eating her cereal as Nick opened the paper.

Sara decided she couldn't sleep any longer and finally got out of bed. She slipped on her robe and headed for the kitchen. Kelsey's door was open, surprisingly, and she wasn't in her bed. The shower ran in the background.

"Why's Kelsey up so early?" She arrived downstairs and walked into the kitchen where her husband and daughter were sitting at the table.

"I got her up." Nick admitted, raising his hand timidly. "She's not sleeping in if I'm not."

"Mommy, you and daddy woke me up last night!" Chloe complained again, putting her tiny fists on her hips.

Sara whipped around with a worried look on her face, not knowing what to say."

"When we were talking to Kelsey." Her husband cleared up, looking over the morning newspaper and giving her a knowing wink.

"Oh." She sighed and smiled simultaneously. "I see."

The three members of the Stokes family went about the rest of their morning, waiting for the teenager to join them. After breakfast, everyone else took their showers and Chloe watched cartoons. After Nick was done dressing, he joined his daughter in front of the television. He sat down on the couch and pulled her onto his lap. When he started tickling her mercilessly, she squealed with laughed, squirming to get away.

"Stoooooooop!" She pleaded. He gave her kisses on the cheek and then put his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. They were enjoying "Scooby-Doo" when Kelsey finally bounced down the stairs dressed in track pants and a t-shirt.

"I'm going to Finney Park to play basketball." She announced and headed for the door, like it was nothing.

"Excuse me?" He turned his head around, not believing what he was hearing.

"I've got a breakfast bar to eat on the way, and I already checked my blood sugar." She told him, pretending not to know why he was so opposed to this idea.

"I don't think so. Not after your behavior last night."

"Why not?" She whined, stopping and walking towards the couch.

Nick lifted Chloe off his lap and quickly grabbed his other daughter by the arm and dragged her into the next room.

"You acted totally irresponsibly last night. There is no way you are going anywhere for at least a month." He tried to whisper, so not to upset Chloe, but his tone of voice was rash.

"You never said I was grounded." She tried to call him on it, giving him a challenging look.

"I told you we'd talk about it today. You know damn well you're grounded. Don't even try that game with me. Now get in the kitchen and eat a good breakfast, because we've got yard work to do."

"You're kidding." She looked at him like he was an alien, but it didn't faze him. Sara had heard the tail end of the conversation, and finally stepped into view when Kelsey kept arguing.

"Kelsey, why don't you just go on up to your room and we'll come make clear exactly what your punishment is. Then you'll come help us with yardwork."

Kelsey didn't dare argue, and stormed up the stairs in a huff, making as much noise as possible. Nick and Sara discussed an appropriate punishment for a minute or so, and then proceeded upstairs to put an end to her moaning and games.

When they came into her room, she was slouching on her bed, examining her non-existent fingernails.

"Your mom and I have discussed your punishment." Nick started Sara sat down next to Kelsey on the bed. A tear began to fall from her eyes, and Nick paused, a little confused. "And we're grounding you for three weeks for breaking curfew and the drinking, and another week for lying to us. No phone, and Internet is only for schoolwork.

Kelsey looked straight up at Nick with tears in her eyes, a look of hate and defiance taking over.

"What makes you think you can tell me to do anything?" She stabbed in a hateful voice neither parent had ever heard.

"Kelsey!" Her mother gasped.

The way she looked at him and the way she spoke stabbed Nick in the heart like never before. Sara looked at her husband, and he looked like he was dying. He looked like he was about to break down, as his life; his daughter; was stomping his heart into the ground with ruthless abandon. Instead, he knelt down to her eye level and gently spoke to her.

"Kelsey, I know I'm not your real father. I wish every day that I could call such a beautiful, talented, loving girl my own, but I can't. But I have been there since the age of two. I've watched you grow, and cared for you, and yes, disciplined you like you were my own. And I think that counts for a lot."

He paused for a few seconds and then promptly walked out of the room and headed down the stairs. Kelsey sat on her bed, looking at the floor in shock and disgust at herself. She couldn't believe how low she'd just stooped. What a horrible daughter she was. Kelsey didn't even know where it had come from. She'd always been so confused about her real father, and what Nick really meant to her. He was trying to control her, and she snapped. But he was just trying to be her father. He was a great dad, and he didn't have to be. Nick loved her like his own daughter, and wasn't going anywhere. What the hell was she thinking?

After her mother left moments later, silently, she began to think about her relationship with Nick. She recalled the many birthdays she would wait for her real father to call. The many times that he didn't, Nick was there to comfort her. He would hold her in his arms, kiss her on the forehead and temples, and tell her that her father didn't know what he was missing. _You are the most beautiful, wonderful little girl in the world he would say, and he's crazy not to want to call you. And you have people here that love you to pieces_. He always knew exactly what to say. He was there at every basketball game, every dance recital, and every single important event without question or hesitation. He sure made her mom happy too. Without a moment's more pause, she ran down the stairs.

"Where's dad? She asked Chloe, who was sitting on the couch watching television.

"Outside playing in the dirt." She informed him innocently.

Kelsey ran out the back door and looked to the right and then to the left. There she saw her dad; her father, Nick. He was working hard laying mulch in the garden while talking to her mom. He looked very distraught, and Kelsey knew it was her who caused him the pain. Her mom was probably telling him what a wonderful father he was and how she didn't mean what she said.

"Daddy!" She called out, feeling tears sting at the back of her eyes.

"Kelsey?" He put his hand up above her head to shield the sun from his eyes, squinting.

Kelsey began to cry as she ran towards him at full force. She crashed hard into his arms and started sobbing uncontrollably. Nick started stroking her hair and quietly whispered, "Shhhhhh…" to calm his daughter.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She said over and over again.

Sara had stepped back and looked like she was about to cry as she cupped her hands around her face. "I'll be inside." She whispered to her husband as she headed indoors.

"I'm so sorry…" She sobbed.

"It's okay, sweetheart. You don't have to say anything."

Nick was starting to cry too. He put his caring hands gently around her head and pulled back from the embrace with tears in his eyes.

"You have made my life so wonderful. Since the day I met you."

He kissed her just once on the forehead, and then held her again in his arms as they both continued to weep. They both had each other no matter what, and Kelsey had never felt so safe cradled in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

It always seemed to happen this way. Kelsey would be just wonderful for a few days after she'd been grounded. She'd seem ashamed and remorseful, and acted like a perfect angel around the house. Her younger sister who adored her would fall even more in love with her, and her parents could take a short sigh of relief.

Then the boredom would kick in, and in turn, the resentment. Since the age of about twelve, Kelsey had turned into a wild child. She'd always been upset and confused about why her father had walked out on her, and her teen angst really riled up as anger towards Sara and Nick. Kelsey hated Sara for seemingly driving her father away, and she resented Nick for trying to take his place. All these emotions were magnified when she was in trouble. It was a reminder that she thought Nick was trying to control her, and that Sara was willing to let him. And unfortunately nowadays, Kelsey was in trouble quite frequently, whether it was poor grades at school, her sometimes abysmal behavior, and her general bad attitude.

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate you calling." Nick put the phone down forcefully and took in a deep breath. He thought Kelsey's antics would never end. Nick loved his daughter, but sometimes she could make him so angry. He walked to the bottom of the stairs and yelled up.

"Kelsey Marie Stokes, get your butt down here now!"

Nick looked over to where Chloe was watching cartoons again on the sofa, and asked her to go play outside.

"Is Kelsey in trouble again?"

"Yes, sweetheart. I need you to stay outside for a few minutes, okay?"

Nick didn't want his youngest daughter growing up thinking all he ever did was yell, but it seemed like it to him. Kelsey was a trouble-maker, and he was always having to correct her and discipline her seemingly endlessly. He asked Chloe to go outside so she wouldn't hear her father raise his voice once again, which he was sure he would have to.

"What!" Kelsey yelled as she leaned out her bedroom door. Chloe quickly got up and went outside. Her sister had done it again. Chloe wished Kelsey would just be a good girl like she always tried to be.

"I said, get down here now." Nick repeated calmly, with his hands on his hips. Kelsey sighed, rolled her eyes, and shut her bedroom door, making her way down the stairs. What had she done now? Her parents were always on her about something or other.

"What is it?" She asked him as she reached the last step. Kelsey stood peering over him, wanting to get this lecture over with. Plus, it made her seem taller and more in control.

"Go sit down on the couch." He told her.

"I'd rather not."

"Don't get smart with me." Nick scowled, taking his daughter's arm and pulling her towards the couch. "Get over there."

Kelsey reluctantly went to the couch and put her feet up on the table, knowing Nick wouldn't like it. Her father was all about respect, and she knew it ticked him off when she didn't show this towards him.

Nick chose to ignore her current posture, because he knew she was trying to push his buttons. He had to pick his battles these days.

"I just got off the phone with the dean again, Kelsey."

He waited, giving her a chance to explain herself and come clean, but she didn't bite.

"You were grounded last month because you were failing three subjects in school, and part of the plan was you going to those after-school math help sessions. Are you remembering this?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?" He called her on it, because she was being disrespectful with her tone and posture. Kelsey sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Yes, SIR."

"Thank you. The dean said you have not been to a single session in the last week, and you are still failing all three subjects. Are you aware of this?"

"I don't pay that close attention to my grades."

"Well, you better start caring. Do you ever think about your future? No college would let you in with grades like you have right now, Kelsey. You're not even trying!" Nick started, "All through school, you got all A's and B's, and when you hit eighth grade, it all hit the fan. What is going on, Kel? I need to know."

"I just realized what a crock the American education system is."

"How so?"

Nick was all about debating with his daughter, allowing her to explain herself. She was getting better about expressing herself, but there were still usually holes in her thinking.

"Did you know we have the worst math scores in almost the entire civilized world? And that 'No Child Left Behind' crap? Please! That's not how society works. Not everyone is cut out to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a friggin' crime scene investigator, or whatever the hell you do."

"Sweetheart, you just contradicted yourself." Nick pointed out.

"Whatever."

"What are you going to do about math?" Nick got back to the point, ignoring her dismissiveness. If she wouldn't care about her schoolwork, he'd see to it that she did.

"I don't care about school like you do, dad! I don't want to grow up and solve crimes. I want to be a beautician."

"Even being a beautician takes smarts." Nick pointed out.

"Uh-uh! Aivy's sister is a beautician and she's a complete idiot!"

"You're really not helping your case, here, Kel. They're not gonna want to hire someone who doesn't even have a high school diploma. That's a fact."

Kelsey studied her black finger nail polish curiously, knowing her father was right. But that didn't mean she was going to acknowledge it. Her latest hobby was ticking him off, and she liked to argue just for the fun of it. She didn't even know if she wanted to be a beautician. That was just way to Frenchie.

"Kelsey, I hate to have to manage you like this, and I know you don't like it either. Do I need to start meeting you outside your last period class to make sure you go to the help sessions?"

"No!" Ugh – what was he thinking? Sometimes he was so embarrassing.

"Then please don't make me." Nick told her seriously. "Because I will if you don't start helping yourself. I'll give you one more week, and then I'm checking with the dean again. Deal?"

"Fine." She muttered as she got up from the couch and hurried up the stairs. Nick just sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He hoped he was getting through to her, but didn't know if this was the right way. They'd tried everything short of sending her to counseling and medicating her. He and Sara had been discussing at length lately whether to try something like that or not. They didn't know if that would drive her further away.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

warning – this section contains a self-mutilation scene – don't read if this bugs you

Kelsey slammed the door shut and locked the door, turning the music up loud.

_Tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface_

_Don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_And every second I waste is more than I can take_

Kelsey opened her bottom desk drawer and reached way in the back until she found the tiny razor blade. She glared at the door as she pushed back her short-sleeved shirt past her shoulder. There, she took in the sight of dozens of razor blade marks – some of them old and white, scars forever; and some of them fresh – still red and angry.

I've become so numb

I can't feel you there

And become so tired

So much more aware

I'm becoming this

All I want to do is be more like me, and be less like you

I've become so numb

Kelsey's eyebrows knitted as she watched her skin. Why was she such a freak? She always watched the other kids at her high school, seemingly also so happy and carefree, and wondered why she wasn't the same way. Why was she so angry? Kelsey wished she was happy, but how did they do it? Thinking about how different she was scared her even more. There must be something really wrong with her.

She took the razor between her fingers and made a cut. Relief. She watched in awe as the deep red blood seeped out of the fresh wound, spilling onto her pale skin. Somehow, the emotional pain she'd been feeling seemed to disappear a little bit. Seeing the blood reminded her she was still alive; that she could still feel; that she had feelings just like everyone else, even if they never listened to her.

Kelsey hated school and most of the kids that went there. All the girls were Barbie wannabees, with their perfect smiles, perfect skin, and the latest outfits. Kelsey never wanted to be like them. They were all cookie cutters. But she didn't want to be like this. Not like this.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me?_

_Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control_

_Cause everything that you thought I would be_

_Has fallen apart right in front of you_

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you_

_And every second I waste is more than I can take_

Kelsey cut herself again as the music continued. She had the worst parents in the world. They thought she was so awful, but they just didn't understand. Maybe if they just left her alone for once and stopped pestering her about school and her attitude, she would actually feel like changing. They were smothering her, especially her father. Kelsey knew they thought micromanaging her was what was best. She admitted she'd been a complete terror from eighth grade on. She would hate herself too, if she had herself as a child. What a brat she was. Kelsey hoped they would just give up on her soon and let her get on with her life.

Once she felt better, Kelsey grabbed a tissue from the box on her desk and started putting pressure on her new wounds. She would clean the razor blade later after her parents had gone to bed. When the bleeding stopped, Kelsey put the tissues in a small plastic bag, which she kept many of in her desk. Later, she would discreetly dispose of the bloodied tissues, stuffing them in the bottom of the family dumpster. Her parents were none the wiser, as long as she covered her tracks. Kelsey had been doing this for almost three years, so she was a pro at hiding it.

Kelsey wiped her eyes and washed her face in the bathroom, making sure there were no blood marks on her shirt. She walked back down the stairs to join her family as usual.

A/N: So, I guess I have a whole lot of explaining and disclaiming to do, huh? Well, first of all, I am in no way trying to put down or to promote self-mutilation. As a writer, I just wanted to explore the emotions, and hope I did an okay job. I did do a little research on websites.

Second of all, I'm not trying to insinuate that Linkin Park's Numb promotes self-mutilation, because it applies to so many different situations.

Third, this is actually a self-help fic, because I was actually a self-mutilator for a while (not cutting, but other ways), and fairly recently (within the last year, and other past years). So please know, that if you are a self-mutilator, I am in no way trying to dramatize feelings or say, wouldn't this be neat to write about. I don't know how you yourself feel, but the thoughts of Kelsey are inspired by my own feelings and those I researched on the internet. I hope no one takes offense to this. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

"Sara Stokes." She answered the phone, on her way to another crime scene cheerily.

"Hi, baby, it's Nick." He answered in a tone that indicated he wasn't happy. "I was heading to a crime scene down at the mall, and guess who I ran across?"

Sara didn't need more than one guess. She knew by her husband's tone it must be Kelsey. It was a school day, about eleven in the morning, and Kelsey was not where she needed to be. A few days before, she'd been busted on not going to the math help sessions, and now she was skipping school.

"Kelsey's skipping school?" She practically yelled incredulously. Both she and her husband were at their rope's end with Kelsey. It was just one thing after another, seemingly nonstop. They wanted their daughter to be happy and well-behaved, but Kelsey just seemed to want to misbehave whenever the opportunity presented itself. "Where is she now?"

"I have her at home. She's up in her room right now." Nick reported, looking up the stairs from his spot in the living room.

"Did you call the school?"

"Yeah, I did. They said I could bring her in today if we wanted, or wait until tomorrow if we wanted to talk to her at home."

"Talk?" Sara repeated. "I think we're beyond the talking phase! We've talked our heads off to that girl, and it doesn't help at all! Geez, Nick, what the hell is wrong with her?"

Nick was glad Sara wasn't home yet. She really needed to calm down before she said something to Kelsey she didn't mean. Granted, Nick had already had an aggravated chat with his daughter before sending her to her room so they could both calm down.

"Sara, you need to calm down. I'm really upset with her right now too, but biting her head off won't help."

"Oh, yeah? What else haven't we tried?" She retorted.

"Sara." He warned.

"Alright, alright. I'm on my way home." Sara snapped her cell phone shut with an angry zest and sped down the road. Nick turned the cordless phone off and sighed, figuring he better get upstairs before she got any ideas for making up stories and excuses. He hated to admit it, but she was really good at lying. Sometimes, he just couldn't tell if she was being honest or not, and that killed him.

When he entered her room again, she had her headphones on listening to music with a scowl on her face. He knew she was aware of him, but continued to ignore him until he stood over her bed where she was laying. Finally, he reached down and hit the stop button.

"Take 'em off." He told her. Kelsey slowly took the phones out of her ears and sat up, taking her sweet time. She was dressed in a mini skirt Nick had never seen and a low cut shirt that showed off too much. "I thought I told you to change."

"I like my clothes." She informed him.

"What clothes? They barely cover you!"

Kelsey didn't say anything, just stared up at him. It scared Nick to death when she looked at him like that, as if to say, 'I don't have to do anything you say'. And truthfully, he couldn't get her to do anything. He wanted her to take the steps herself. Nick could punish her all he wanted, but it wouldn't make Kelsey want to be better.

"Why'd you skip school today?" He asked, straight up.

"Because I hate school." Kelsey explained simply, tucking her legs underneath herself and examining her bit-down nails.

"And why do you suppose that is?"

"All the teachers are bitches."

Nick chose to bite his tongue. She wanted to get him ticked, and she was succeeding.

"Well, do you think maybe they're getting frustrated with you because you don't do the work?" Nick tried reasoning with her, though it was hard to these days. It was like his real daughter was trapped inside some shell. He knew that deep down, his daughter knew what she was doing wrong. She was choosing to do this; to mess around at school and defy her parents. Nick knew his little girl was in there somewhere, but he hadn't seen her for years.

"I don't care what they think! I wish everyone would just get off my ass!" Kelsey yelled, getting up off the bed. "I don't care about school right now. I know you do, but that doesn't mean I do!"

Nick just wanted to scream at her and throttle her for being so belligerent, but that wouldn't help his case. That wouldn't help Kelsey. He was silent for a few moments, pondering what to do. Nick just didn't know what to do anymore.

"You know what, fine." Nick waved his hand in dismissal, "I'll leave until you can talk to me with a little more respect and your attitude's gone."

"Great, then you'll stay out of my room until I move out?" She retorted, pushing every button she could.

"Likely chance, Kelsey. Good luck with your mother when she gets home." Nick closed the door loudly behind him, not believing how disrespectful she had gotten. What happened to the little girl in pigtails that would run to him when he got home from work? Nowadays, she didn't come out of her room unless she had to. She avoid him and her mother, and seemed to hate her life.

Nick cooled down again until his wife returned. Sara was about as pissed off as he had been minute earlier, and she was about to bolt up the stairs and tear her daughter to pieces when Nick stopped her.

"Sara, don't go up there right now." He tried to stop her, grabbing her upper arm and pulling her back into the living room.

"I am sick of her attitude, Nick. I'm letting her have it! She's skipping school now? We cannot put up with this, Nick!" Sara had tears in her eyes, at her wits end. She had no idea how to help Kelsey and it killed her inside. Despite being a wonderful mother and being there always for her daughter, Kelsey seemed to hate her.

"I know, Sara. That's why we need to calm down and think." He tried to reason. Sara seemed to calm down, so Nick let her arm go, his own returning to his hips in a frustrated stance. "Come on. Let's sit down and talk."

Sara reluctantly followed her husband to the couch. She'd try just about anything right now.

"I think we need to medicate her and send her to a shrink." Sara told her husband before he could start. "He can deal with her for a while."

"Sara, you don't want to send her away. You'd never forgive yourself for that." Nick rubbed his wife's back, trying to calm her, though he wasn't thinking that straight now either.

"Catherine talks all the time about Lindsey's school. Butterfield Academy?" Nick started, "It's expensive, but she said she's seen such a change in Lindsey. And we all know how disturbed Lindsey got."

Sara thought about Lindsey and how angry she had been after her father's death and because of Catherine's work schedule. She was on the wrong track at her old school, but Butterfield's strict environment helped straighten her out. Now Lindsey's behavior had improved dramatically, and she was pulling A's and B's in school.

"Nick, she got a huge lump of cash from Sam Braun. There's no way we could afford that school."

"Well, can we look into it? It's for our daughter, the most important thing in the world. I really don't know what else to do with her, and I think this school might help."

"Can we take her to the doctor first?"

"Of course. But I'll ask Catherine about tuition costs. And we'd keep her at home, so we wouldn't have to worry about room and board."

Sara sighed and closed her eyes. Her daughter had gone buns-up. Whatever happened? Where did they go wrong? But Nick was right. They needed to get her some help. And fast, before she completely lost it, and they had no control over what happened to Kelsey. They'd do anything for either of their kids.

"Okay." She whispered, reluctance tainting her usually confident voice.

Nick gave her a sweet, supportive kiss, glad they were going to try something.

"Okay. Are you calm now? Can you go talk to her?" Nick looked into her eyes seriously. Not that he should be talking – he'd about ripped Kelsey to shreds when they first got home.

"Yeah. I'll try not to bite her head off, but I'm not making any promises." She semi-joked. Nick kissed her again and they got up hand in hand, and made their way for the stairs.

A/N: A completely heinous child is actually quite fun to write. I hope you don't hate her completely. She's interesting to write, though! Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Heyyy…so haven't updated this in awhile, so thank MrsEads for the request to get my ass going on this story. Haha! I hope you enjoy the update, and remember to leave me a comment, and you will give me eternal bliss.

She was cutting herself in the morning, and that was never a good sign. Chloe had gotten up early and woken her up with her rummaging around and loud talking. Both her parents were already up, and she could hear them downstairs, happily interacting with her little sister. Kelsey remembered when she used to be like that. Back when she was actually comfortable in her own skin, and didn't feel like a complete psycho and failure. She bet her parents wished she was that small again, and they could handle her.

When she woke up, her mind immediately returned to the day before. Her parents had been so angry at her, and she was actually afraid of what they may do. It was an unsettling feeling, that your parents didn't know what to do with you. They ended up grounding her for another two weeks, in addition to the month she was already serving. Not that that would stop her – they didn't know how many times she'd snuck out of her room at night after they'd gone to bed. They'd caught her only twice, but she'd gotten away with it dozens of times.

She felt like she was so beyond help – they literally had no idea how to control her. She was surprised when her father's authoritative method of discipline seemed to have no more effect on her – the eyes that used to stab into her soul, just seemed to bounce back at him. Before, their punishments seemed to have an effect on her – she would feel remorseful after getting a time-out, being spanked on occasion when she was little, and getting grounded or getting extra chores when she was older. Kelsey just didn't care – whatever punishment they handed out, she'd find a way around it. She didn't want it to be that easy, but it was.

Kelsey blasted Korn's "Freak on a Leash" and made sure her desk chair was securely blocking her door. She stripped off her t-shirt and nudged the bra strap off her shoulder, as she found her razor, deeply buried in her drawer.

_Something takes a part of me_

_Something lost and never seen_

_Every time I start to believe_

_Something's raped and taken from me_

_Life's gotta always be messing with me_

_Can't it chill and let me be free_

_Can't I take away all this pain_

_I try to every night all in vain_

_Sometimes I cannot take this place_

_Sometimes it's my life I can't taste_

_Sometimes I cannot feel my face_

_You'll never see me fall from grace_

_Something takes a part of me_

_You and I weren't meant to be_

_A cheap fuck for me to lay_

_Something takes a part of me_

Kelsey made a huge gash across her upper arm just below her shoulder and let the blood trickle down. It seeped over her skin, and she felt the familiar, comforting sting as her body tried to heal her wound once again. The blood curved and trickled down and over her old scars. Some that were years old, and some just a few days. It had never been this bad before – never had she cut herself two days in a row, in the morning nonetheless, but she was feeling even more lost.

_Feeling like a freak on a leash_

_Feeling like I have no release_

_How many times have I felt diseased_

_Nothing in my life is free_

After watching herself bleed for a couple minutes, Kelsey heard a loud knock at her door. She turned her music down to see what the angry voice was saying. It was her mother.

"Kelsey, turn that music down, and you need to hurry up. We're leaving for work in fifteen minutes."

"Fine! I'll be down in a minute." She answered back with attitude. When Kelsey heard her mother's footsteps receding, she reached for the tissues and started applying pressure to her gash. She mopped up the blood from her skin the best she could. When she'd stopped bleeding, she threw on some clothes for school and went into the bathroom, taking care to hide the bloodied tissue and razor.

She dressed pretty normally, not like someone you'd expect who was mutilating herself on a regular basis. Kelsey wasn't in to the Abercrombie look, but she wasn't a nerdy dresser by any means. Mostly, she chose simple t-shirts that complimented her body well, and covered up her shoulders and upper-arms. Kelsey did like to wear revealing things sometimes just because she knew she had a great body, and it would piss her parents off. Her khaki capris and black Old Navy flip flops looked normal enough, and were comfortable.

After putting her tissues in her secret bag, and hiding both it and the razor, she grabbed her backpack, filled with incomplete math homework, and headed downstairs reluctantly. Her parents didn't even notice her at first, or didn't let on, as they continued to talk to Chloe at the breakfast table. A bowl was already set out for her as always, so she took her seat at the table, and grabbed the box of Corn Pops.

The table was silent for a few moments, as if no one knew what to say, or didn't really want to talk to her. Her father cleared his throat and looked over at her. Kelsey's eyes shot up and met his as she finished pouring the milk. Surprisingly, his eyes looked loving and supportive right now, not judgmental like they normally were. She looked at her mother, and she looked the same.

"How'd you sleep, sweetheart?" Nick asked her, without any hint of anger, judgment, or sarcasm in his voice.

Kelsey looked at him for a few moments, stirring her cereal, before she answered.

"Fine." Obviously, he wanted to tell her or ask her something important, but she wasn't going to take his bait.

"Good. Listen, your mom and I want to talk to you after school about some things, so would you mind coming into the lab when school's out?"

Did they know about her cutting? They would probably think she was a freak if they ever found out, as if they didn't think that already. As she looked at her mother again, though, she could tell they didn't know. Their faces would look a lot different if they did – they'd be heartbroken, disgusted, and angry.

"Sure. Whatever you say." She taunted them for good measure.

Nick and Sara dropped both their daughters off at their respective schools before heading off to work themselves. They held hands as they walked into work, something they didn't often do for professional reasons.

They found out more from Catherine about Butterfield Academy. The school seemed like a close to perfect fit for Kelsey, though she probably wouldn't think so. It was a K-12 school known for their rigorous, college-preparatory academic program. High school students were required to take four years in English, history, science, mathematics, and foreign language, as well as exposure to the arts and also a little forensics (which tickled their fancies). The school offered as advanced of math classes as Multivariate Calculus, but Kelsey's placement would depend on standardized tests, current grades, and teacher recommendation. Kelsey was a sophomore placed in a freshman math class, which they both thought had done horrors for her confidence in the subject. Hopefully, their boast of compassionate, patient, but strict teachers would be just what Kelsey needed to get back on track.

Nick and Sara contacted the school while at work and discussed admissions and financial aid. They had assistance plans for financial help, and seemed familiar to this type of parent – a pair at their wits' end, willing to do anything to help and straighten out their child. Nick and Sara seemed sold. The two parents decided they would pitch the idea to their daughter when she arrived here after school, but their decision had already been made. Kelsey may hate them even more for a while, but they were going to get her help, and her attitude and tantrums weren't going to stop them.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

Kelsey Stokes walked into the familiar Las Vegas Crime Lab building. She used to come here all the time when she was little, because she thought what her parents did for a living was so cool. That was when she held her parents up on such a high pedestal, worshipped the ground they walked on, and did whatever they said. Now, she would rather be elsewhere. Anywhere but this suffocating, nerd-filled building. She approached the receptionist's desk and sighed heavily.

"Hi, I'm Kelsey Stokes, and I'm here to see my parents, Nick and Sara."

"Certainly. I'll call and let them know you're here."

Kelsey sat down in one of the chairs and checked her watch. It was a little after three fifteen. This was normally the time she would use to cut herself at home after a long, hard school day. She'd gotten in trouble in math class again because she hadn't finished her homework, and didn't have any of her late homework done either. But she'd actually come to work like her parents had asked, and surely that counted for something.

A couple minutes later, her parents walked out to the reception area. They were both wearing their blue lab coats, and Kelsey couldn't help but roll her eyes at the sight of them.

"Hi, sweetheart. We're glad you came." Her father kissed her cheek and then motioned to come this way down the hallways. She couldn't help but notice how affectionate her parents were being with her, as her mother started stroking her back gently as they neared her father's office. Nick had been promoted to Day Shift Supervisor a few years before and took his job very seriously, but his family always came first.

Usually, her father would still sit behind his desk when she came in to see him these days (usually, she'd be sent here if she got in trouble at school), but today both her parents pulled up chairs to sit right in front of her, face to face. Kelsey could tell she was in for a major talking to, but they didn't seem mad. Surely, her math teacher had called them ranting again, but they didn't seem pissed at all. What were they doing? Her mother began.

"Kelsey, your father and I need to talk about something very important with you."


	5. Chapter 5

I hate my parents.

I really do.

Who do they think they are, trying to send me to some god-awful, stuffy, preppy, way-too-expensive school? I don't know, but I wasn't going to sit there one more minute and listen to them tell me about how they're doing this because they love me and all that garbage. Please. They just want me out of their hair. Send crazy Kelsey away for someone else to deal with me. It was clear they wanted to give up.

So now, I'm sitting out on the curb of the Las Vegas Crime Lab after running out of the room. I didn't let them see me cry, but the tears started as soon as I was sure they weren't behind me. Usually, they just let me go when I'm upset, and have my crying bout. They haven't seen me really cry in years, because I won't let them. I don't want their comfort.

I hear the door open and close, and the footsteps are slow and calm. I don't know which one it is yet, but I just rest my arms on my knees and bury my face. I feel a large, warm hand on my back, but I sense that it's not my dad. Wiping at my eyes a little bit, I lift my head up to see Warrick.

Warrick has always been good to me. Whenever I'm getting sick of my parents, which is often at this stage in my life, I know I can call him. It's neat to have a grown-up friend; one that's non-judgmental and won't get me in trouble. Well, I know he'd tell my parents if he knew I was doing something dangerous, like cutting myself. But I can trust him, which is more than I can say about my parents right now.

"You okay, Kels-dog?" He asks me, rubbing my back supportively. He's called me that ever since I can remember, and I love it. I jokingly call him W-dog or Ick-dog sometimes, because it just doesn't sound right. Doesn't quite roll off the tongue like Kels-dog.

"No. I hate my parents, Warrick. I really do." I add when he breathes in deeply, like he always does when I bad-mouth my parents. He's been friends with them since before I was born, and, sure, what my dad did was noble and all, but that didn't mean anything now that he's trying to ruin my life. I hope at least he would understand that.

"Kelsey, I think you're overreacting."

"What? You know about it already?" I asked, surprised. Good news sure does travel fast.

"They asked Cath about it, so I found out." Warrick married Catherine four years ago, and together they'd made the decision about sending Lindsey to Butterfield. I know Lindsey pretty well; we hang out together, though sometimes I wonder if our parents think we have a bad influence on each other. We probably do. They probably talk about how awful we are all the time.

I thought I would start to hate Warrick now that he was actually raising Lindsey and could get in trouble with him – but I never have. Lindsey and I have gotten into some mischief together over the years, but Warrick has never acted like an authority figure to me. He still just acts like my big brother. Lindsey thins it's so weird, that he can yell at her, but he won't yell at me. I can tell when he's disappointed, but he never crosses that line.

"Lindsey may talk about how awful it is there, Kels, but she actually does like it there, I think. But she'd never admit that to you." Warrick told me, stroking my hair gently. If it was anyone else, I would be sure my parents told them to brainwash me, but I know Warrick would never lie to me. Lindsey didn't let on to everything, I knew, and it wasn't that farfetched that she may actually like the school she goes to. From what I knew, she was making all A's and B's now, and her parents were finally getting off her back a little.

"It's like they're giving up on me." I finally confessed, and then started bawling. Warrick pulled me into a hug and let me cry for the next minute or so. When the tears finally started to die down, he spoke again.

"Kelsey, they could never give up on you." He said seriously. "That's not what parents do."

"My real dad gave up on me, why shouldn't mom and Nick?" I can't believe I'd just said that. Deep down, that is what always bothered me, and I think is the root of all my problems. You never ever get over someone as vital as a parent leaving you. It just doesn't go away. My dad chose to leave me and mom – obviously, we didn't mean that much to him. Nick always talks about how he loves me unconditionally, and the love of a parent can't be tainted. But when that trust has been broken once, it's hard to let someone else in. Nick has been nothing but wonderful to me over the years, but somehow I treat him and mom like crap. I don't blame them for hating me. I hate me too.

"Your real dad was a jerk. You know that. Why are you holding that against your mom and dad? They love you so much, and they'd never leave you, sweetheart."

I knew Warrick spoke the truth. I was being very unfair, but that's just one more thing messed up in that warped mind of mine.

"I know. But it still hurts."

"I know." He kisses the top of my head and gives me one last big hug. "Why don't we go inside. It's pretty hot out here, and I'm sure your parents are wondering where you are."

I resist the urge to come up with some smart ass comment about my parents being relieved at the absence of my presence, and follow Warrick inside. He takes me silently back to my dad's office, where they greet me with open arms.

My mother hugs me and then pulls back to look at my face, touching my cheeks and forehead with her hands.

"Sweetheart, you look pale. Have you checked your blood sugar lately?"

I've been feeling a little weak for about half an hour, and a little dizzy, not to mention irritable, but that's normal. I know I should have checked, but I was too busy being emotional. I shake my head no, and my dad immediately starts rummaging around in one of his desk drawers, then tells me to sit down. He still keeps a spare AccuCheck in his desk, even though I haven't visited in a long time. For once, I allow him to do it. He holds my hand gently, rubbing my palm with his thumb as he dabs my middle finger with a cleaning wipe.

"You ready?" He asks me, even though I'm so used to this.

"Yeah." The familiar sharp prick clipped my finger for a moment, and my dad immediately looks up to check my face for any discomfort. If only he knew that I inflict blood-letting wounds on my body almost every day, and have done so for the last three years. So much for knowing your child. Somehow, I wish they would find out and they could help me, but then again, that is my only escape from the suffocating cloud of judgment they surround me with every day.

I don't even flinch. My dad collects the bead of blood that appears with one of the testing strips. He inserts it into the reading device, and moments later it beeps.

"Sixty eight." He reports. "You need to eat something right now, Kels."

"I'll go get a Coke." I tell them.

"No, Kels, you sit right there. I'll go get it." My mom takes a dollar bill out of her pocket and proceeds down to the Coke machine. I look over at Warrick, and he's eyeing me suspiciously. I quickly look away, and my mom returns with a Coke. Though I only need half a can, I down that sucker as quick as I can, and then relax. I might not need to cut myself today.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Hey, readers! Well, this will probably be my last post for a little while, since I'm leaving for the airport in three hours! I'm not sure when I'll be able to get to a computer. I might be able to post in England, if I can type really really fast. I'll be taking my notebook with me, so hopefully I'll have lots of updates for you when I get back. Thanks again for all your great support – it means a lot that you're sticking with me!

Sara and Nick were quickly moving forward with their plan to enroll Kelsey in Butterfield Academy, much to the teenager's dismay. Lindsey spoke horrors of the strict atmosphere, and being kept on a tight leash. Kelsey thought about what Warrick said, however, and considered that Lindsey was putting up a front. Kelsey wasn't happy right now, but she wondered if a strict, no-nonsense environment was what she needed. Not that she'd like it, but maybe it could help.

The last few days, Kelsey had gone non-contest to her after-school help sessions, hoping that maybe her parents would see that she was trying and wouldn't send her to Butterfield, but they wouldn't buy it. Nick and Sara knew they had scared their daughter, and she would do anything not to go to the strict academy, but they believed this was best for her.

Kelsey was up in her room one afternoon, trying to get through her math homework, when her mother walked in.

"Hi, sweetheart." Sara greeted her daughter. Kelsey noticed that her parents were trying to be more loving towards her since they'd delivered the news, almost like they felt guilty.

"Hey." Kelsey answered shortly. Sara went to Kelsey's closet, and the girl's stomach flip flopped a little. She had been hiding things for three years, and it made her so nervous to have her mother looking through her personal property, even though she didn't remember having anything bad in there. "What are you doing, mom?"

"You're going to need more space in your closet for your uniforms." Sara told her, as she started pulling out a few large sweaters. "Why don't you help me sort through some of these."

"I'm doing my homework." Kelsey said with a hint of attitude.

"Well, good. But I already bought you three uniforms, and we need room."

"You bought me uniforms already?" Kelsey seethed. She felt like she had absolutely no control over her life. Her mother was shopping for her now.

"You're starting next Monday." Sara informed her. The school had been a big help with finances, since Nick and Sara were both city employees, as long as they would be actively involved at school and with their daughter.

"Mom!" Sara turned around and sighed, putting her hands on her hips.

"Kelsey, you knew we were going ahead with it. You are going to Butterfield. I know you're not happy about it, but we don't know what else to do about your behavior."

Kelsey just pushed herself back down onto the bed, crossing her arms, about ready to cry. Her parents were being so unfair.

"Kelsey, stop pouting. You're fine." Sara told her shortly, as she dropped more old clothes on her daughter's bedroom floor.

"No I'm not!" Kelsey yelled. She seriously considered spilling everything to her mom right then, but decided against it. Kelsey wasn't sure if her parents would be disgusted or supportive of her, and she wasn't strong enough to take that chance right now.

"Okay, Kels. Let's not start. Will you come help me please?" She requested again. Kelsey reluctantly joined her mother at her closet and started sifting through her clothes.

Sara pulled out a cute tank top from one of the shelves and held it up. She never saw her daughter wearing tank tops any more, and she'd forgotten how cute some of Kelsey's clothes were. Sara held it up to her daughter's form.

"How come you never wear tank tops any more?" She asked curiously.

"I don't know. I guess I just don't like them anymore." Kelsey answered quickly, avoiding the real reason. They showed her razor cuts.

"Maybe you should wear a few. You're such a pretty girl to be wearing baggy old shirts." Sara spoke of her wardrobe sometimes. Kelsey was also known to dress scantily when she felt like it, but know that Sara thought…she really never wore tank tops.

Kelsey didn't say anything. Her father had just come home from work and found two of his girls talking in Kelsey's room.

"There's two of my precious girls." He commented as he walked into the room. Nick hugged and kissed his wife first, and then hooked his arm around Kelsey and kissed her hair. "How you doing, Kels?" He looked around at all the clothes strew about the floor.

"Fine. Mom's making me clean my closet." She picked up one of the tank tops and threw it in the discard pile. Kelsey didn't know if she'd ever wear tank tops again. Nick looked through the pile of clothes Kelsey wanted to get rid of. There were a lot of nice items in there, he noticed.

"Kels, why are you getting rid of these?" He held up a gorgeous-looking tank top. Kelsey longed to wear those tank tops again, but knew she couldn't.

"I just don't like them, okay?" She scowled at him and went back to her sorting. Kelsey was getting irritated with their prodding. "Why do you guys keep asking me?"

"Just calm down, Kels. I was just wondering." He said, tossing the top back into the ever-growing pile. "Sara?" Nick just said the one word.

Sara turned around to meet Nick's face, questioning whether she'd told their daughter about what would be happening with her schooling. She nodded, and Nick cleared his throat a little to begin his talk.

"Kels, come sit down for a minute." He requested, taking hold of his daughter's hand and pulling her away from the closet. Kelsey hated when he began chats like this. It meant he wanted to do some serious heart-to-heart talking, and she didn't think she could take it.

Reluctantly, she let him lead her to the bed, where they both sat down, and Sara soon joined them on Kelsey's other side.

"Baby, I know your mom already talked to you a little bit, about Butterfield." Nick put the conversation out there. "And we want you to know this is not us giving up on you. If anything, we're taking bigger steps to help you. Do you understand that?" His look confirmed his deep concern and love for his daughter.

"What do you want me to say?" Kelsey challenged him, irritated. "You want me to roll over and thank you for sending me to some god-awful school, and taking me away from all my friends?"

"Kelsey, they're not your friends if they're getting you into trouble." Sara told her. A few of her friends were bad news, and they felt Kelsey had gotten worse with the group of girls she hung around.

"At least they're there for me. And you're taking that away." Kelsey scowled, crossing her arms and staring down at her feet. She knew there was no changing her parents' mind, but she wasn't going down without a fight. She could feel her parents looking at each other, not knowing what to say.

"Alright, Kels." Her father said. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but we're your parents, and though you might not see it right now, we're doing this for your own good."

Kelsey didn't want to buy their bullcrap. Doing this for her own good her ass! They thought she was a psycho, and they were trying to take her away from the only people that made her feel normal.

"Fine! You already made the decision, so what's the point in talking about it! Will you just leave me alone?"

Nick hated when she raised her voice at them. It wasn't something he would normally tolerate, but slowly it was becoming a normalcy in this house. He told himself that soon she would be getting better. It might get worse first, but she would get better. Nick and Sara once again expressed to Kelsey that they loved her, to which they received scowling looks, and left the teenager alone in her room.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

The next day, Nick went in to the locker room before shift to change his clothes, and soon Warrick came in also. The two shared a bit of small talk about cases they'd been working on, but soon the conversation turned to Kelsey.

"Is she still pretty upset?" Warrick asked, as he pulled a fresh t-shirt on.

"She's pissed." Nick affirmed, putting his gun in his holster. "But that's to be expected. It's really getting to Sara, though."

"I'll bet. I think she'll like it a lot when she gets there. Of course, she probably won't let you and Sara know that."

"No, probably not. I really think this will help her."

It was silent for a few moments, as Warrick contemplated asking the next question. He'd noticed some things about Kelsey, and wondered if her parents were seeing the same things.

"Nick, can I ask you a question about Kelsey?"

Nick looked over at his good friend of many years. He'd never asked for permission to speak before.

"Sure, man. What's up?"

"I know you've been having trouble with Kelsey. And I…I've been noticing a few things about her."

"Like what?"

"Well, I don't think I've seen that girl swim or wear anything that shows off her shoulders in…years even."

"You think she's hiding something?"

"I don't know, man. Do you think something else is going on?"

Nick thought about what Warrick was telling him, and back to yesterday in Kelsey's room. She mysteriously didn't want anything to do with tank tops, and he hadn't seen her wear a bathing suit without something over it in a long time.

"Well, yesterday, she got all offended when I asked her why she doesn't wear tank tops anymore. We were cleaning out her closet and found some old ones."

Warrick shook his head a little and Nick stared blankly into space, thinking and wondering. Was his little girl hiding something from them?

"I hate to say it, Nick, but I think you need to conduct a little investigation of her own."

"And how should I do that?"

"I know you don't want to, but I think you're going to have to do a little snooping. Check her room. Everywhere. Under the bed, in her desk, even her underwear drawer, Nick. You need to make sure she's not getting herself into trouble."

Nick got an unsettled feeling in his stomach. He knew he valued his own privacy deeply, and didn't want to intrude on Kelsey's room and life unnecessarily. She already hated him right now; he didn't want to make it worse. And what would happen if he didn't find anything and Kelsey found out? She'd never forgive him. But what overpowered his mind was what if he did find something? The unknown worried the father greatly, and Kelsey's well-being trumped her privacy.

Nick sighed heavily.

"I really don't want to, Warrick. But you're right." Nick admitted. "Something might be going on, and I need to find out what it is."

"Good, man. Let me know how it goes, and if you need anything. I can always talk to her. We're still buds, you know."

"Thanks Warrick."

Nick headed off to Grissom's office to get his assignment for the day, and knew it would be a long, trying shift. He had to do his job, but his mind would be occupied all day with worry for Kelsey.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hola! I'm back from England, and it was brilliant and smashing! It's nice to be home, though, and have regular Internet access. : ) I ended up working a lot on this story, and a bit on LSAI. I have lots to type up, so please let me know what you think. I'll be posting more of this story within the next few days. Thanks for waiting for me!

Nick and Sara felt the guiltiest they'd ever felt in their lives a few days later when they dropped off Kelsey at Butterfield Academy for her first day of school. She hadn't said a word to her parents on the way there or when they pulled up to the door. Perfectly pressed in her dark green and navy plaid skirt, white blouse, and navy cardigan, her scowling face didn't seem to match at all.

"Bye, sweetheart." Sara called from the Denali as Kelsey closed the back door. Kelsey just slung her backpack over her shoulder and walked in to what she felt would be a living nightmare.

Her mother sighed from the car, tired of being ignored and shunned. They watched her until she disappeared into the door, because she'd threatened to run away from school of they actually sent her. It hurt them that they had to take such extreme measures, but it had sadly become necessary. Nick would call the school later to make sure she'd gone to her classes.

Nick took and kissed his wife' hand as they pulled away. He could tell how much this was upsetting her, and he felt there was nothing they could do any more. They'd tried everything, but nothing seemed to make a difference with Kelsey – she didn't want to be helped. Nick had also been thinking about what Warrick had brought up – his daughter was being so secretive and careful with many things in her life. Little things were starting to add up – never wearing a tank top though she did before; locking her door all the time; never swimming or sunbathing. These were all typical teen behaviors Nick and Sara had seen in Kelsey years before, but that they never saw now.

"Sara?" Nick said softly after a while. She'd been in a daze and Nick thought now would be a good time to bring up Warrick's concerns since her problems were so fresh in their minds.

"Huh?" She managed to snap out.

"Can we talk more about Kelsey? I have more concerns."

Sar put her head in her hand. Obviously, she was still very frustrated, as he was.

"Now? In the car?"

"When we get home, I mean." He clarified, stealing glances at his wife.

"Okay." It was sad in a 'I can't take much more of this' tone that he growing more accustomed to.

Minutes later, Nick was sitting his wife down at the kitchen table and explaining Warrick's thoughts to her.

"He wants us to investigate her?" Sara gaped. "Our own daughter? Is he crazy?"

"Sar, he has a point."

"What point is that?"

"She's been acting strange for a while now, and it's our job to figure out why. We don't know what she's been doing in her room. She locks it and barely says a word to us."

"Well, I've never seen anything in her room." Sara said, knowing better. She thought something was really wrong for a long time, but it's a hard thing for a parent to come to terms with. Denying it and explaining it away was a safe feeling that she wasn't sure she wanted to give away.

"Sara, you know better than anyone that doesn't mean anything. People are sneaky, and our daughter is a master at that."

"What do you think she's doing?"

"I don't know, but I want to find out. We need to find out."

"So, you want to snoop around in your daughter's bedroom? If she finds out, she'll never speak to us again!"

"She doesn't speak to us already, Sar." He pointed out, rubbing her leg supportively. "Sweetheart, if she's doing something really dangerous, we need to do something. Pretending there's no problem won't help."

Sara started crying softly. It was all too much in such a short time. Nick held her softly and stroked her hair as she cried.

"I just want her to be normal."

"Baby, we haven't done anything wrong. She's just so angry. She'll get through it, but right now we need to make sure she's keeping safe."

"Well, wouldn't drugs or alcohol affect her blood-sugar level?"

"I don't know sweetheart. Probably." Nick guessed. It wasn't something he dreamed of looking into that affected Kelsey's condition at this stage in her life.

"Alright. Let's get this over with."

Nick and Sara spent the next hour searching through their daughter's room. Nick concentrated on her closet and desk, whereas Sara searched her bed and underneath her dresser drawers and nightstand. It felt very wrong to be investigating Kelsey like they did the worst suspects, but they wouldn't be doing this unless they thought it was completely necessary. Kelsey had left them no choice.

After a long time, all they had found were old magazines, dirty clothes, and a few unapproved CDs. Nick sighed as he searched through her bottom desk drawer. He sifted through junk and old school notebooks until he reached a tiny cranny in the back. Nick picked up a tiny paper bag and opened it – it was full of bloodied tissues.

"Sar, I think I found something." He announced reluctantly, pulling one of the tissues from the bag. Sara joined him crouching on the floor.

"There's at least a dozen in there." Sara estimated, examining one.

"What the hell was she doing?" Nick asked, a little grossed out, but just overall concerned. "Why would she keep a dozen used, bloody tissue in her desk drawer?"

"She's hiding them."

"Why? Nosebleeds? Does she have a blood fetish or something?" They had seen a variety of odd things over the years. Hiding nosebleeds didn't seem rational.

"Nick!" Sara stopped him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you see it? Locking the door, being secretive, never showing her upper arms and now bloody tissues. I think she's cutting herself."

Sara had seen such cases before and couldn't see how she could've missed the signs. Granted, every case was different, but she should be able to see it in her own daughter. It had been such a drastic change in attitude and demeanor, but Sara also new cutters could be very good about hiding the evidence. But, luckily Kelsey's parents were experts in finding and analyzing evidence.

"Cutting? It could be from her blood-sugar testing." Now Nick was the one in denial.

"That much blood? And why would she take such lengths to hide it if it was just for that? We know she tests her blood."

"Sara, you're being ri-"

"You were the one to say if she has a problem, we need to fix it."

Nick thought about what he'd been saying for a moment, and shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Sar. I didn't know it would be this serious and calculated. And I mean, don't girls usually cut their wrists?"

"No, it's different case to case. Kelsey probably cuts her shoulders and upper arms."

"How? And why?"

"With some sharp object. We should probably check all of them in this room for blood evidence. And why? She's probably down on herself. You know what her behavior's been like."

"Okay, and how to we confront her?"

"I don't know, Nick. Not yet. Not when we're still angry and shocked."

Nick searched through her desk drawer a little more for an object she may have used to cut herself with. He found nothing. Sara searched her nightstand again and under mattress, and again found no clues.

"I don't see anything, Sar. How about the razor she uses to shave?"

Nick and Sara ended up testing her shaving razor, scissors, and a few pieces from her manicure kit. Apart for a few spots that could be explained away by unavoidable slips of the hand, there was nothing Kelsey could've been using. They were at a dead end, and not sure whether to confront Kelsey immediately or not.

"Maybe we should just ask her about it." Sara reasoned.

"She'll be upset. And what if we're wrong?"

"I wish we were, but I really don't think so."

Nick brought Sara into a supportive embrace. They held each other as they wondered how life had turned so difficult.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hey, again! Thanks for the reviews from the last chapter. Typing stuff you've already written on paper isn't so much fun – bleh! I have about 1 ½ chapters of this left to type, so I'll try to get it out asap. Thanks for reading!

Kelsey Stokes sat in a stall in the girls' restroom at lunchtime, feeling alone and abandoned. She'd had an awful morning, and wanted nothing more than to get out of her uniform. She didn't wish to go back to her old school though, because she hated it there too. Kelsey just wished she didn't have to go to any school. Maybe she could be home schooled. But not by either of her parents. That would suck. Perhaps a private tutor.

The fifteen year old reached into the front pocket of her backpack and retrieved her trusted razor blade. She brought it in case she got the urge to cut herself (which she'd never resorted to at school), but also on the hopeful chance that a teacher or student might find it, turn it in, and then she'd get kicked out.

Kelsey managed to expose her scarred shoulder. She'd have to be careful since she was wearing a white blouse, and only had ten more minutes. Making a shallow cut, the blood crept out and she let the stinging, wondrous pain sooth her body and mind. She breathed in and out deeply, calming herself and started to cry softly. Was she the only one who felt this awful and lost, and hated herself? Kelsey sure didn't see anyone else in the bathroom at lunch all alone making themselves bleed.

After a few minutes, she composed herself, cleaned up, and headed back to the lunch room to join the other uniformed girls and try to get through the rest of her day.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

Nick and Sara had told their daughter to take the bus to the CSI headquarters after school so they could talk about her first day and also keep an eye on her. When Kelsey arrived, Nick was interrogating a suspect, and Sara was in a meeting with Ecklie, so she just crashed in her father's office.

Kelsey was slouched on the couch, trying not to think about school tomorrow, when Warrick passed by. Seeing the girl looking visibly distraught, he knocked on the open door and walked in.

"K-dog! What's up?" He sounded warm and inviting, unlike her parents. "How was your first day?"

"Alright." She lied, moving her legs so he could sit next to her. The look he gave her told Kelsey he wasn't buying it, just like she expected.

"I hate school. All schools."

"You're fifteen. You're allowed, but you still have to do your work."

"You sound like my dad." Kelsey complained, looking ahead at her father's desk shelves. It was filled with family pictures and shots of her and Chloe. He really did love her, but for some reason, it was so hard to accept her parents' love.

"Is that so bad?" HE looked at her seriously, his green eyes asking her to be forgiving and understanding.

Kelsey looked at him for a few moments, but didn't answer.

"Kels, I don't want to overstep my bounds, but you don't seem alright. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Warrick." She answered reflexively. No one, especially adults, would understand what she was feeling. Kelsey knew he meant well, but didn't want to talk.

"You know, a few years ago I was working a case. A sixteen year old girl. Got in with a bad group of people."

"Are you implying I am, in some way, like this girl?"

Warrick continued with his story, ignoring her comment.

"Scared Catherine half to death cause that's when Lindsey was getting really out of hand. That's when we sent her to Butterfield."

Kelsey was silent for a few moments. She knew her parents saw awful things, but that didn't mean anything would happen to her.

"Did my parents have a hard case?"

"Well, almost all cases are hard. But being a parent, that makes it harder, because you can't help but imagine and worry about what might happen to your own kid." He patiently explained.

Kelsey took a moment to open up, something she rarely did any more with adults.

"Sometimes, when they come home, they just hug Chloe and me, and won't let me go for minutes."

Warrick nodded, having felt and done similar things with Lindsey.

"Do me a favor and make sure you just…talk to them sometimes, okay? Because they worry about you. Can you do that?"

"I don't know." Kelsey said honestly. "I don't like talking to them much about things."

"I know, Kels, but they need it. They need to hear you're okay."

If only it were that easy, Kelsey thought. It would be a lie; a total lie.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

Kelsey had seemed so down the first few days of school, that her parents decided to wait, at least until the weekend, to confront her. She slept in to eleven o'clock.

They chose a time when she seemed to be docile. Kelsey still looked solemn and unhappy, but at least she was angry and upset. She'd barely spoken to them since they sent her to Butterfield.

Chloe was at a friend's house and Kelsey was watching TV, still in her Soffe shorts and t-shirt from sleeping. Sara turned off MTV and they both sat next to her, looking serious. Kelsey knew she was in for a big talk, and she was always afraid of what it would be about. She'd snuck out of her room last night; her attitude was generally frowned upon; she didn't care about her grades, and she mutilated herself. What could it be? Sara started.

"Sweetheart, your father and I would like to talk to you about something. We know you haven't been in the mood to talk lately, so we'll just talk first, and you tell us what you're feeling, okay?"

Kelsey's arms were crossed, and she didn't answer. Her parents were used to this. At least she seemed indifferent, and hadn't stormed off yet.

"We know you've been having trouble the last few years, really. You haven't really been the same since you hit eighth grade. We've tried clamping down on you and being strict, but it seems like you're getting angrier and less responsive. Baby, we're worried about you. Will you talk to us and let us help you?" Sara finished hopefully, trying to make eye contact. From behind her, Nick supportively rubbed her upper arms.

When Kelsey didn't say anything, Nick tried also.

"Kelsey, please talk to us. We know you're upset." Nick added quietly. After more painful silence, she finally spoke.

"I just want to be left alone. I hate school. I hate my life. I just want to get it over with and move out."

Well, that was blunt, but nothing they didn't think she'd felt before. But it still hurt and worried them.

"Why do you think you're so unhappy?" Nick asked his daughter.

"Hell if I know!"

"How do you deal with it, honey?" Sara asked, knowing it was time to confront her.

"I stay in my room and away from you. I told you, I just want to be alone." She repeated, a little irritated. Kelsey was very close to just storming off. Sara looked at Nick and he went on.

"Baby, like we said, we've been worried about you. We know you really won't like what we're going to say, but we need to say it."

Kelsey glared at her parents, inwardly curling up at their worried, guilty expressions.

"We decided to search your bedroom, sweetheart. Because you won't talk to us and we're worried about you."

Kelsey immediately looked intruded and violated.

"We didn't want to, but we had no choice. Kelsey, we found a lot of bloody tissues hidden in your desk. Why were you hiding them?"

"You were in my room without my permission?" Kelsey was immediately stuck on the intrusion, and would let them know she wasn't happy. "Was it while I was at that stupid damn school you sent me to?" She suddenly turned very angry. She didn't tolerate any type of intrusion.

"Kelsey, calm down." Sara put her hand on her daughter's knee, but she quickly pushed it away.

"No! Why were you in my room? You have no right!"

"Kelsey, we most certainly have a right. This is our house, and you're our daughter." Nick spoke firmly.

"I'm not your daughter!" She yelled at him. Nick looked away.

"Kelsey, he's your father and you know it. Don't start with that."

"You shouldn't have been in there either!"

"Why do you have so many bloody tissues?" Sara got back to the point.

"I have nose bleeds."

"Kelsey, you don't have nose bleeds that bad. You never have."

"I tested them for mucus traces." Nick spoke up again. He hadn't told Sara he'd done this, so it was news to her. "There wasn't any. It didn't come from your nose."

Kelsey seemed stuck. Why did they have to have access to all these devices? Any normal parents wouldn't be doing this, and she began hating them more by the second.

"What's next, a lie detector?"

"Kelsey, we're just trying to find out what's going on so we can help you." Sara explained.

"Well, I don't need any help! Just stay the hell out of my room and leave me alone!"

Kelsey started to storm up the stairs and her mother called after her.

"Kelsey, come back here now!"

"Screw you, bitch!" She shouted, and slammed her bedroom door. Nick hated when she disrespected him, but especially when she was rude to Sara. Before she could stop him, Nick was storming after her, and Sara trailed, telling him to calm down.

Nick pushed the door open roughly to find Kelsey sitting on her bed pouting and angry-faced.

"Get up!" He ordered her.

"Get out of my room!"

Nick grabbed his daughter by the upper arm and roughly pulled her to face Sara.

"You apologize to your mother right now."

"Bite me!"

He shook her arm firmly again.

"Kelsey, don't test me!" He warned harshly.

"Why not? What are you going to do? Ground me for another week? Send me away for someone else to deal with?"

"Kelsey, cool it." Her mother warned calmly. Her eyes told Nick to drop it for now, and he reluctantly did. Everyone took a few moments to take a deep breath.

"Are you cutting yourself, sweetheart?" Sara asked soothingly.

"No! That's sick!" She answered immediately, crossing her arms, and Nick finally let her go.

"Your tank tops." She said simply. "Why don't you wear them anymore?"

"I don't like them. I can't change my wardrobe?" Her sarcastic shield ever-present.

"You never wear a swimsuit without a shirt." Nick added, trying to get her to admit what they suspected.

"So?"

Kelsey knew her lies were slowly melting away. They were seeing through her but she would fight them to the very end.

"Baby, then why were you hiding the tissues?"

"Would you leave me alone?" She said harshly and went to turn on her stereo. Nick grabbed her wrist and brought her back. "Let me go!"

"No, Kelsey. We're going to help you. Will you show us your shoulders?"

Kelsey looked between them like they'd just asked to see her naked.

"No!" Nick still had a grip on her, and she moved to get away again, but he wouldn't let her.

"Kelsey, let us see your shoulders." Sara said gently, moving closer to her daughter.

"Baby, we don't want to force you, but we will. I'll ask you one more time. Show us your shoulders." Nick requested firmly.

Kelsey felt very trapped and felt judged. As she glanced back between them, Kelsey saw they were still dead serious, and they weren't just going to shrug this off like they had for years. The young girl panicked, and she suddenly snapped her imprisoned hand to the side, effectively freeing herself, and bolted for the door. She was almost through the frame when she felt two strong hands gripping her arms again, and pulling her back.

Kelsey started yelling and cussing up a storm, trying to free herself. The familiar arms soon enveloped her in a strong embrace from behind as Nick shushed her protests, and started walking backwards towards her bed. Kelsey could hear her mother offer soothing words, but it was all a blur. They were going to see what she'd managed to hide for three years.

Nick sat back on the bed and continued to hold his daughter close until she stopped fighting, as Sara stroked her hair.

"It's okay, baby. We're going to help." Sara whispered as devious tears streamed down the teenager's face. Kelsey tried, but she couldn't stop them from coming. Her parents hadn't seen her cry in years, and it was a strange relief to them to see her weep. Kelsey felt surprisingly calm now, like this was finally the end to a horrible dream, and her parents were gently coaxing her awake.

Sara rubbed Kelsey's arm, slowly moving it up farther so she knew what her mother was doing.

"Momma." She sobbed, when she got to the sleeve, and Nick squeezed her a little tighter.

"Ssshhh, it's okay." Sara didn't take her eyes off Kelsey's arm as she slowly pushed the sleeve up. It gradually revealed a heart-breaking array of linear scars. From her upper arm, and the tops of her shoulder was a multitude of self-inflicted wounds, both old and new. Kelsey turned her head the other way when her mother gently ran her comforting, but sorry fingers over the cuts.

"Oh, Kelsey." She whispered tearfully. "I'm so sorry."

Suddenly, Kelsey felt horrible as she looked at her mother's face. She knew her mother felt horrible, and blamed herself for what she'd done. All this time, Kelsey thought her mother was part of the problem but her expression stirred up feelings of guilt and regret. She couldn't see her father's face, and wasn't sure if he would be angry or like her mother.

"I'm sorry, momma, I'm sorry….sorry…" She faded shamefully.

Nick hugged her tight again, and she knew he wasn't angry with her. She felt his hand go to her right upper arm and gently push her shirt sleeve up. It revealed the same – an angry red and white collection of marks that had been inflicted amongst pain and self-hate. He quickly straightened the sleeve and then kissed the side of her head.

"Baby, how long have you been doing this?" He asked sadly. Nick was sickened to think Kelsey had been suffering all alone like this without them knowing.

"A few years." She whispered shamefully, a fresh tear wandering down her cheek.

"Why didn't you come to us?"

It was the question Kelsey had been fearing the most because she didn't know the answer. A few years ago, she did trust her parents. But for some reason, she'd rather hide than seek their advice. Thinking now, Kelsey didn't know why she'd done this. Perhaps she thought they'd be disgusted with her. Maybe she even trusted them now, but was too stubborn to give in.

Her familiar anger returned and she angrily got up from her bed, and her parents let her.

"I don't know, okay? I don't know why!" Her posture showed her discomfort and self-consciousness. Sara's heart ached at the thought of Kelsey searching for something to wear to cover her scars; all the times she sat out swimming; and cursed herself for not noticing.

Kelsey quickly covered her shoulders and hastily got up from her bed and ran out the room – she didn't know where yet, somewhere away from the judgment and disappointed eyes. She felt like cutting herself again, but the shame overtook her senses now, as her eyes became a water blur and she reached the haven of outdoors.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hey! Ummm…so…yeah – I'm actually moving to Florida tomorrow on a bit of a whim. A charter school called me yesterday and basically offered me a 3rd/4th grade teaching position that starts this coming Monday (yeah, as in the 7th of August). So…this may be my last update in quite a few days. Haha! This is so weird and scary. Please enjoy this chapter and lemme know what you think!

Instead of giving in and allowing her parents to help her, Kelsey seemed to get angrier at everyone and became more withdrawn. Not knowing what else to do, her parents tried to keep an eye on her at all times, so she couldn't cut herself. They searched her backpack and found the razor she'd been using and confiscated it, but she would easily find and use a new one at school. She went straight from school to the lab each day and had to do all her schoolwork downstairs in the kitchen, where Nick and Sara could watch her. If Kelsey hadn't felt micromanaged before, she felt insanely so now.

She sat in her father's office one day, solemnly completing some algebra homework, when Warrick came in to drop off a file. Kelsey trusted him before, but now she felt betrayed by him. She'd heard her parents discussing her and Warrick's name.

"Hey, K-dog. How's the algebra coming?" He asked cheerfully upon seeing her textbook sprawled across the couch.

She only offered him an evil glare and went back to scribbling in her notebook. Warrick dropped the file on Nick's desk and put his hands on his hips.

"Kels, why the cold shoulder?"

"Because you ruined my life!" She slammed her pencil down.

"How so?" His green eyes dissected her mouth barriers she frequented with adults. Nick was an easygoing guy, he knew, but the man would get so frustrated with his daughter's mouth. Warrick tried to stay cool and listen to what she had to say.

"You ratted me out! You didn't even ask me first and you told them! You told them everything and I trusted you!"

"Woah, woah, slow down." He indicated with a calming hand motion. Nick and Sara hadn't told him anything further than they had talked to her and were trying to get the girl help. "I told them what?"

"That I was cutting myself!" The teary eyes girl informed him, not realizing Warrick had no idea what she'd been up to. Warrick was caught off guard. HE didn't know it had been that serious. It took him a few moments to formulate anything to say. He sat down next to her and took a deep breath.

"Kelsey, I had no idea you were cutting yourself. I did talk to your dad because I'm worried about you, but I was only trying to help."

"Well, you made it worse." She muttered.

"Because I said I was worried about you?"

"You put ideas in their heads."

"Ideas that were true, young lady. If you're really hurting yourself, we need to get you some help."

"We? So now you're on their side?"

"We are ALL on your side, Kelsey. Don't you see that?"

"Yeah, it really feels like you're all trying to make it better! Just stay out of my business!"

Kelsey slammed the door on her way out, leaving the one adult she trusted sitting puzzled.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

The next afternoon, Sara and Nick got a phone call from Butterfield Academy, and not one they were happy about. Sara's phone rang while they were in the middle of photographing evidence.

"Sara Stokes."

"Hi, this is Dr. Maynard again. I'm sorry to bother you at work, but we found Kelsey in the bathroom with a razor. She was cutting herself."

Sara sighed and looked at her husband. He could tell from her face it was about Kelsey.

"You have her with you now?"

"Yes. Would you like to come in?"

"Yeah. Can I talk to her, please?"

"Certainly."

Sara heard the phone transwer and soon her daughter's sordid tone greeted her on the other end.

"What?"

"Kelsey, it's momma." She said in a soothing tone. Sara decided to make a point of not attacking her about the problem. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." She lied. Nothing was fine anymore.

"Sweetheart, you just sit tight, and daddy and I will be in, okay?"

"Fine."

"Okay. I love you."

The phone went dead and Sara almost felt like crying. She kept reaching out to Kelsey, hoping she would latch on, but time and time again she would push Sara away. Nick was waiting intently for news, his face deeply concerned.

"They found her in the bathroom again with another razor." She reported. Kelsey wasn't going to give up her escape, even if her parents, Warrick, the principal, and her teachers knew about it. She was a smart girl and found a way around them all.

Nick and Sara immediately drove to Butterfield, leaving Greg behind at the crime scene. They tried to think of what they were going to do and say. Sara had even been making Kelsey show her her shoulders each night, and now she wasn't even trying to hide it. They worried that she was going to do worse things.

"Whatever we do, we can't go in there angry and screaming." Sara decided responsibly. Nick seemed to have other ideas.

"Sara, this is the third time we've been called away from a crime scene, and she's only been there two weeks. She can't believe she can keep getting out of class or possibly kicked out. She's going to think she has control over all our lives."

"Don't we want her to start taking more positive control over her life? Baby, we've tried being strict with her and it wasn't working. We need a different approach."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Giving her more freedom. I think she feels suffocated."

"More freedom?" Nick gaped. "If we give her more time alone, she'll just cut herself."

"Maybe not if we get her more counseling and we keep talking to her."

"She doesn't talk to us."

"Because we're always all over her and breathing down her neck!" Sara pointed out, raising her voice slightly.

"Because we have to be!" Nick boomed.

They both breathed in and out deeply for a few moments, cooling down.

"Sara, I'm sorry." Nick took her hand and tried to keep his eye on the road and his wife. "I'm just so scared. I don't want anything to happen to her."

"I know, baby. Me neither." She whispered, and kissed his hand, their fingers remaining interlocked. "Let's just go in there calmly and work this out, okay?"

"Alright." He sighed, hoping he'd be able to do this.

CSI CSI CSI CSI CSI

Kelsey didn't look at them as they came in and didn't want to listen – she'd heard it all before. Don't cut yourself. Do better at school. Adjust your attitude.

Her mother kneeled in front of her and took her face lovingly in her hands. She looked so relieved, like a mother finding a child who had wandered off at the mall. Kelsey flinched a moment, but allowed her mother to touch her.

"I'm so glad you're okay." She could hear tears and trembling in her mother's voice.

Kelsey was sitting between her parents staring at the floor. Her mother held her hand in support as Nick started with the questions.

"Dr. Maynard, I only heard briefly from my wife. What exactly happened today?"

"Kelsey, would you care to explain?" Dr. Maynard suggested.

"I cut myself." She said simply, thinking they were avoiding the obvious.

"Yes, Kelsey, we know that." Nick said a little impatiently. "Where'd you get the razor and where were you?"

"Ummm…I'm not telling, and in the bathroom." Kelsey answered smartly.

Nick ran his hand over his face in frustration, so Sara took over.

"Sweetheart, we need to help you find another way to deal with your pain. We can't have you cutting yourself and skipping classes."

"We do have a school counselor that we could have you start meeting with several times a week." The principal suggested.

"What, so she can convince me to toss my razor away forever and become Little Miss High School? I'd rather not."

Kelsey used to stand in front of the mirror in her bedroom as a young child and dream about the things all little girls did – make up and prom dresses; being treated like a princess; every other girl wanting to be you. But somewhere in between then and now, she'd lost that. She couldn't care less and she knew that broke her mother's heart. She wanted her daughter to be happy, but right now it didn't seem to be in the cards.

"Kelsey, need I remind you that this school has a very strict no-tolerance policy about cutting classes, on top of our concern about your health."

"That's bull! None of you care about my health! You'll all be elated when I leave."

"Kelsey." Her father warned. She shot him a glare.

"As I was saying, our policy states that if a student is found to have cut class without due reason in excess of five times, she will be expelled. And you have done this three times already, on top of bringing what is considered a weapon to school."

"You're talking to me like my world will end if I don't go here. Are you forgetting I don't want to be here? I don't care"

"I think we need to have some further discussion at home." Sara sensed, knowing ganging up on Kelsey would only be like trying to tame a wild animal when she was angry.

"Super!" Kelsey perked superficially, and jumped out of her seat sarcastically.

"Kelsey, you still need to go to your last three classes and head over to the lab right after school. Got it?" Nick told her, his brow furrowed in un-amusement.

Kelsey heard him but did her normal no-response deal, slinging her heavy backpack over her uniformed shoulder. She walked casually down the hall, offering not even a goodbye to the adults like she'd just come out of the bathroom from touching up make up. The dark halls seemed to glower at her, as if warning her and railing on her for being such a horrible person. But she just didn't care.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hey! I'm down in Florida now, and moving into my apartment tomorrow morning! Woo hoo! It's still pretty crazy, so sorry for not updating. I will try to do that more often when things get settled down. Thanks for sticking with me!

Kelsey went through the motions of her last three classes of the day after her meeting with the principal and her parents. They all talked about how they cared about her and wanted her to get better, but it was only because she freaked them out. Her parents didn't want a daughter who did psychotic things; who made herself bleed; who talked back to them. They just didn't want her to get kicked out of this school so they wouldn't have to deal with her so much. Kelsey wasn't going to make it that easy on them.

She hated them for sending her to this awful school; for having to wear this disgusting, itchy uniform; but most of all for trying to make her something she wasn't. She was never going to make them happy, no matter what she did, or didn't do. They wanted her to be the perfect straight-A, well-mannered girl she used to be. Kelsey hated that girl, but she hated the girl she was too. That was the hard part – she was trapped, and didn't know where to go.

When the school bell finally rang, Kelsey started to walk out to the city bus to catch a ride to the CSI headquarters. She stopped halfway, looking at other students boarding the bus. This is not where she wanted to be. She didn't want to go see her parents, so they could put her under house arrest. Kelsey felt like a specimen, being observed, as her parents took notes on her and tried to control her. Realizing she'd had enough of this micro-management, Kelsey turned back to the school doors and pushed her way through the sea of identical, seemingly brain washed and uniformed students going the opposite direction.

Kelsey needed to send a message, that she was not going to be handled. She wasn't going to roll over and perk up with the right discipline, the right school, or the right group of friends. She felt she was beyond hope, and just wanted everyone to give up on her already. Kelsey hated the fact her parents thought her problems would be such a quick fix, sending her here. Their daughter was a nutcase, and they just needed to face it, and Kelsey was going to send that message loud and clear.

Digging through her backpack and jeans pocket for money, the teen managed to rummage up close to five dollars worth. She found the coke and candy machines, and quickly bought as many as she could afford, stuffing them into her backpack. Kelsey stormed off towards the girls' locker room, where the basketball team had just finished changing before practice. All alone with no one to talk her out of it, Kelsey started chugging the sodas and stuffing the candy bars down her throat at a rapid speed.

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Nick Stokes looked again at his watch while waiting for a meeting to get over with at work. It was almost four o'clock, and Kelsey should have been here by now. Each day when she arrived, she had to come find him or Sara so they knew she'd gotten there safely. Since she'd been upset earlier at school, Nick was beginning to think she'd decided to run off somewhere else, or meet up with friends from her old school. As soon as Grissom decided to dismiss them, he would call her cell phone to see why she wasn't here.

He looked across the table at his wife, who didn't very happy either. She'd been looking at her watch frequently also. Nick didn't understand Sara's reasoning to start going easier on her. Kelsey's behavior had been unacceptable for quite some time, and now they'd found out about the cutting, he wanted to clamp down on her even more. Their disagreements had been putting a strain on the marriage, and they often argued about how to handle Kelsey.

Finally, Grissom dismissed the team, and Nick immediately stormed out of the room, pulling his cell phone out and dialing his daughter's number. Sara caught up with him and took hold of his arm, pushing the cell phone away.

"Nick, you need to calm down before you call her." She warned her fast-becoming irate husband.

"No, Sara. I've had it." He told her firmly, easily pulling his arm away from her grasp. "This is ridiculous! She thinks she can just wander off and disobey us? Just wait until we get home, she'll be in for a rude awakening." Soon, they reached his office, and Sara slammed the door behind them.

"Nick, stop!" She screamed, causing Nick to stop dialing and look up at his wife. Sara rarely yelled, and the look on her face showed how serious she was. "Just listen to yourself! You're the one acting ridiculous right now!"

"We cannot tolerate this crap any more! If we need to check her in to some clinic, or personally escort her between school and home, that's what we need to do. I've had it." Nick's face was stern and determined as he started to re-enter Kelsey's phone number. He was more than surprised to feel the phone being swatted out of his hand, and it tumbled to the floor. Looking up, his eyes were met with a very upset Sara Stokes.

"You're going to drive her further away." She didn't yell, but there was a steely, protective determination in her voice Nick hadn't heard before. There was silence for a several prolonged moments, as they studied each other's faces, the determination of both steeled. Neither wanted to see her hurt and unhappy anymore, but were at totally different ends of the spectrum at how to handle the situation.

"She couldn't be driven away any further." Nick said calmly, his eyes glued on his wife's. He was about to reach for his phone when Catherine opened the door.

"Guys, Butterfield is on the phone. Something about Kelsey, and it sounds urgent." She reported in concern, not caring that she had seemingly interrupted an intense moment between the two worried parents.

Sara and Nick practically dove for the phone. In all their arguing, they hadn't thought about the fact she may still be at school for some reason. The sense of urgency in Catherine's voice frightened them as they tried to think of why she would still be there. Sara picked the phone up first.

"This is Sara Stokes."

"Ma'am, this is the nurse at Butterfield Academy."

"Is something wrong?" Sara asked worriedly. The slight sigh coming from the nurse caused Sara's mind to race even more.

"Kelsey was found in the girls' locker room a few minutes ago unconscious. She was surrounded by quite a few empty soda cans and candy wrappers. I know that she's diabetic, and I believe she went into diabetic shock."

Sara would have collapsed if Nick hadn't been there to help sit her down. Hearing that her daughter may be in diabetic shock sent the mother into hysterics, trying to get more information.

"Is she okay? Where is she?"

"The ambulance is just a couple minutes away, and they're taking her to Desert Palms."

Sara had since broken down crying, so Nick to the phone from her hands.

"This is Nick Stokes. Is Kelsey okay?"

"Sir, they're taking her to Desert Palms hospital to be treated for diabetic shock. You need to go meet her there."

Nick felt like his world was falling apart, and he couldn't move. The thought of his baby girl in trouble; her life possibly in immediate danger, was more than he thought he could bear. He managed to thank the nurse and he spent the next few moments trying to compose himself. They needed to get to Kelsey.

Nick knelt down in front of where Sara was sitting, sobbing. He took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

"Sara, she's going to be fine, do you hear me?" He said louder than he'd intended. Maybe if he said it out loud, it would be true. They were both crying and felt paralyzed as Nick pulled his wife to her feet. They knew their legs must be moving, but going out to the car was all a blur. People passing them in the hall went unnoticed as they rushed away to get to their daughter. Nick and Sara had never been so scared in their lives.


	11. Chapter 11

Sara Stokes sat worriedly at the side of her daughter's hospital bed. Kelsey was still recovering, her blood sugar level on a steady decline. She gazed down at her, trying to figure out when things had gone so horribly wrong. What had happened to the days Kelsey giggled all the time, rode piggy-back on Nick, and seemed genuinely happy? Sara hadn't been able to recognize her daughter for years.

She had been surprised at how well Kelsey took her real father not being around during her younger years. As a young child, Nick had been there and Kelsey hadn't even thought twice about the circumstances. Nick loved her and played with her, and cuddled her and read her bedtime stories, and that was all that mattered. And that's all that should matter when a little girl thinks about who her daddy is.

Perhaps it was after Chloe had been born that Kelsey started getting confused about Nick and his role in her life. She knew Chloe was his only real daughter, and though he treated them the same, Kelsey seemed to become disturbed about it even more. In school, she began to learn about reproduction, and became curious about who her real father was. She'd mentioned it before with her parents, but Sara hadn't heard from the man since he'd left them.

A communication wall seemed to stand between her and her parents for the past couple years. Sara wished Kelsey would open up and say something. Anything. But she refused to open up to them about anything. Her refusal caused her angst to multiply and soon she began cutting herself, sending the teen into a whirlwind of trouble.

Sara sighed, watching Kelsey sleep peacefully for once, the medical equipment beeping every now and then. Nick and Chloe came back from the cafeteria, with a cup of coffee in tow for Sara.

"Momma, I brought you coffee!" Chloe announced, carefully but proudly carrying the cup to her mother. She tried to do anything to help her mom feel better.

"Thank you, sweet pea." She smiled a little at Chloe as she took the cup. They hadn't said anything to their younger daughter about this being on purpose. She just thought Kelsey had gotten sick.

Chloe worked herself up on to her mother's lap, one of her favorite and safest places in the world, and studied her big sister. Chloe idolized her older sister, even though she knew Kelsey got in trouble a lot.

Nick stood behind Sara and kissed her head, letting his lips linger, and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. Sara kept her eyes focused on Kelsey, but put her hand over his in recognition. Nick had never been so scared in his life when he saw Kelsey laying there on the locker room bench, her body lifeless and pale. There was nothing he could do – he had to just stand by and watch as the paramedics worked on her and then loaded her into the ambulance. He hadn't understood her for years – but he especially couldn't understand why she had tried to basically commit suicide. She'd completely lost respect of herself, and it scared him to death.

"She hasn't woken up at all?" Nick checked, already seeing his answer. She'd laid there like a vegetable for a couple days now, rarely opening her eyes or speaking to them.

"Daddy, maybe you should tickle her!" Chloe suggested innocently, smiling up at her father. Nick ruffled her hair and smirked. If only it were that easy.

"Nah, we'll let her rest." Nick told his youngest softly. "Maybe she'll be ready to wake up and talk later." He added, knowing that Kelsey might be able to hear him. Nick prayed that what the doctors told her would scare her back into sanity; into a normal teenager, if there was such a thing. She'd been lucky. Just a few more minutes laying there alone, and they could've been having her funeral.

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Chloe walked in to the hospital the next day, her schoolbag slung over her back. It was almost half her size, and the bottom hit the tops of her legs as she walked, holding her father's hand. Kelsey had finally come into the land of the living late last night, though she definitely wasn't happy about it. Chloe knew she must have eaten something horrible, or caught some awful bug.

When they entered her room, Kelsey was sitting up in bed watching MTV on her television. She barely acknowledged them coming in, keeping her eyes on the screen, until Chloe pounced at her, calling happily. Nick caught her before she could jump on the bed.

"Woah, there, baby girl." He picked her up and set her on his hip, kissing her cheek for good measure. "Kelsey's awake now, but she's still not feeling too well."

Chloe held on to her father's neck, looking at her older sister. The expression on Kelsey's face was blank, as if she didn't care if they were here. It was like she was looking at strangers. Chloe asked to be put down, and she pulled her backpack off her shoulders.

"Kelsey, I bought stuff for you!" She reported happily, digging through the contents. The young girl proudly pulled out a picture she had drawn, and one of Kelsey's favorite stuffed animals. Kelsey smiled a little as she accepted the items. "And I brought the other thing too."

"You can give it to me later." Kelsey told her quickly.

"What other thing?" Nick caught onto the suspicious interaction. He had learned over the past few years to be highly suspicious of his oldest daughter, something he didn't like to do, but which had turned out to be necessary.

"It's feminine products, dad. Just chill." Kelsey told him, a bit of attitude etched in her voice. Nick looked at her a few moments, a warning look on his face.

Nick decided to let it go, and just then, Kelsey's doctor came in the door.

"Mr. Stokes. Do you mind if I speak to you outside for a moment?" He requested. Nick looked down at Chloe, who seemed to be entertaining herself.

"Sure. Chloe, make sure you don't bother your sister. I'll be right back." Nick instructed her, and then went outside and into a private room to talk to the doctor.

"Did you bring it?" Kelsey asked, as soon as she was sure her father was gone and not listening.

"Yep." Chloe reported, upbeat. Since she was only five years old, Kelsey knew she could easily prey on the girl's trust and good nature. She just had to make sure Chloe didn't blab to her parents.

Chloe reached into the bottom of her backpack and retrieved her mother's shaving razor from the bottom, just like Kelsey asked. She would do anything for her older sister, and was glad she could do Kelsey a favor. Her older sister had told her that the hospital didn't provide shaving razors, and to retrieve their mother's from back home. Chloe naively agreed, but wasn't sure why Kelsey wanted her to be so secretive.

"Thanks, Chloe. You're such an awesome sister." She praised her, knowing Chloe would relish in it. The little tyke didn't know any better. Kelsey had been going crazy not being able to cut herself the last few days. The pain after her attempted suicide had been unbearable, and she desperately needed that release. She had just taken the object into her hand and planned on stashing it under her pillow or something, but heard a voice at the door, and a body stepped in.

Unexpectedly, Warrick came in the room moments later to pay one of his favorite nieces a visit. He carried flowers, and had a small smile on his face. Warrick had been worried sick about Kelsey, having heard about what she did.

"Uncle Warrick!" Kelsey exclaimed, the first person she was truly happy to see. Warrick was always so cool to her, and like an older brother.

"Hey, Kelsey. How you feeling?" He asked her, bending down to kiss her forehead, then ruffled Chloe's hair.

"A little better." She told him, quickly hiding the razor underneath the thin white sheets. Kelsey knew everyone was shocked and disappointed in what she had done, but mostly concerned. They were all being supportive right now, but soon the questions would come, she knew. And she planned to shut them out, just like before. This was supposed to be a message that she would not put up with being handled and controlled.

"We're all so worried about you. Lindsey keeps asking." He informed her, putting one of his arms over her legs in a half-embrace. As he did this, Warrick felt something under Kelsey's sheet. His fingers found the object and his eyebrows crinkled in question.

"What's that?" He asked, brushing the object again curiously. Kelsey was terrified. She couldn't let him see that she was already trying to cut herself again.

"Oh…uh, nothing." She stumbled, having no idea how to dismiss it away. Warrick looked at her, and could tell she didn't want him to know something. He hated to be so suspicious, but from what Nick and Sara had told him, and her recent behavior, Warrick knew he had to be.

"Let me see." He commanded gently, motioning with his fingers to bring her hand above the sheets.

"Warrick, it's nothing!" She snapped a little loudly, further convincing him his suspicions were correct. Kelsey gripped the razor tighter under the sheets and tucked her hand under her leg in defiance. She stared at Warrick, wondering why he was being an ass all of a sudden.

"If it's nothing, then why are you hiding it?" Warrick pointed out logically.

Chloe didn't see what the big deal was. It was only her mother's razor that Kelsey needed to shave her legs. Why were Warrick and Kelsey making such a big deal out of it?

"Warrick, it's just mommy's razor." She told her uncle, opening a whole can of worms without realizing it.

"You little bitch!" Kelsey yelled, sitting up and pounding her fists into the mattress. Chloe stared at her sister wide-eyed, like she'd just slapped her in the face. Tears started to brim in her arms at the outburst. What had she done?

"Kelsey!" Warrick reprimanded her, not believing that she'd call her five year old sister such a word.

"She is! I told her to keep it a secret!" Kelsey glared at her sister, knowing she'd just blown her cover. Warrick could see that Chloe was very hurt and upset, but he needed to get through Kelsey's thick head right now.

"Chloe," He said calmly, reaching into his back jeans pocket, retrieving his wallet. "Why don't you go down to the vending machine and get yourself a candy bar, okay?"

Chloe nodded, though she still felt very betrayed and scared by her sister's yelling. She took the bill from Warrick, and walked out of the room, defeated. Warrick turned back to Kelsey, his eyes steeled.

"Kelsey, give me the razor now." He told her, his tone all-business. It was a tone he'd never had to use with Kelsey, but she was continuing to put herself in great danger.

"No!" She refused, still keeping her hand firmly tucked under her upper leg.

"Fine, I'll just have to get it myself." He announced. Kelsey, especially in her fragile state, was no match for Warrick. Grabbing her right arm, he easily pried the tense limb out from the blankets, revealing a white-knuckled hand, firmly clutching a razor. Her other hand went to his, trying to pry it off, but he quickly grabbed both her wrists in one hand. With his other, he pried the razor out of her shaking hands.

"I hate you!" She screamed, using all the energy she had been building up to push him away and bat at his arms. "You're just like my parents!"

"Kelsey, stop!" He boomed, tossing the razor on the floor. It scattered over the tiles and disappeared under one of the chairs. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her sides. Kelsey looked at him, terrified, his face inches from hers.

"Don't you see what you're doing Kelsey?" He boomed, not willing to see Kelsey's life crumble to pieces in front of him. His green eyes were intense as he continued. "Not only are you destroying your own body and health, but you're worrying your family to death! Your selfishness has caused them so much pain! Your parents are trying to help you! Can't you see that? And then you use your five year old sister to get a razor so you can have five minutes of relief? Don't you see how selfish you're being!"

Kelsey just stared at him, her eyes welling up with tears. Warrick had never yelled at her like this before ever. At first it angered her, then scared her, but then she could tell how much she had scared him. She deserved that. She'd called her own sister a bitch. What kind of person was she turning into?

Warrick's form in front of her was becoming a blur as Kelsey started sobbing. He just let her cry for a few moments, then slowly released her wrists. Though crying was normally not a good thing, Warrick couldn't be more relieved. She never cried. She'd been frozen for the past few years, never showing any sort of emotion. Warrick felt her wrap her arms around his neck as she continued to sob.

Kelsey didn't care who heard her. She bawled like a little baby for the next ten minutes. She didn't even notice that her father had come back in, bewildered at the scene in front of him, but strangely relieved. All Kelsey could feel in the next few minutes was Warrick's arms wrapped tightly around her, and the feeling of finally being saved…snapped out of the horrible nightmare that had been the last few years of her twisted, lonely life.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Sorry that I haven't had a lot of time to update – school is really crazy! Anyways, please enjoy and review!

A few days later, Kelsey walked in through the front door of her home, having just been released from the hospital. Nick and Sara couldn't be more relieved that she'd been given a clean bill of health after her brush with death. The physical threat was gone, but they still worried about what was going on in her mind. They followed the teenager inside, and stood by as she looked around the living room, like a soldier returning home from war after years and years.

Kelsey couldn't believe how good it felt to be home. Being in the hospital really sucked, and she couldn't wait to get out. She looked around, touching some family photographs fondly, just taking in the smell and the feeling of home. Being home had been a personal hell for her for a while now, but what Warrick had said to her in the hospital really made her think. Her parents were trying to help her. That was their job. Why did she keep pushing them away? She'd forgotten why over the years, but she figured it was pent-up anger about her real father leaving. She resented Nick for wanting to fill that role in her life, when she should have been thanking him.

As Kelsey turned around, she saw that her parents were watching her closely, still was concern in her eyes. They looked relieved to have her back home again. Chloe still didn't quite understand, and she just swung herself around her father's hand. Looking at her parents now, she saw so much love in their eyes, and it hurt that she'd caused them so much pain and worry. Why had she been so selfish? Thinking about all the things she'd done over the years, it was too much at the moment, and Kelsey had to excuse herself to go outside and be alone for a while.

Her parents knew to leave Kelsey for now, knowing the time would come to talk with her again. Kelsey needed her space, and they'd seen that she was teary-eyed, a sign that she was opening up and showing her emotions again. Well, emotions other than anger.

Kelsey ran to the swingset at the side of their yard, the one that Nick had built himself for her when she was five years old. Though her legs were a little too long now, she sat down on one of the swings, and let herself rock back and forth. Kelsey let the gentle breeze waft through her long brown hair, the smell of the outdoors, the sounds of the birds chirping nearby. Her dad used to push her on this very swing for what seemed like hours on end. He always wanted to stop, but Kelsey would never let him. She loved sitting out here in this swing, knowing that his hands would always catch her on the way down, and send her back safely.

Suddenly Kelsey felt two hands on her back, giving her a gentle nudge. She giggled and looked back to see that it was indeed her father. He smiled back, and Kelsey saw those familiar, comforting laugh lines on his face.

"Do you remember when you were little, and you used to make me push you until my arms turned to Jell-o?" He asked his daughter, as she swung back and forth. Nick gave her a gentle push each time she came back to him.

"I was just thinking about that." Kelsey told him, enjoying the feeling of being pushed again like she was a little girl.

"Yeah?"

"It was always one of my favorite things to do with you. I mean, besides using you as a human jungle gym." She remembered fondly.

Nick felt his heart wanting to burst out of his chest. She was talking to him. She was actually talking to him, and sharing her feelings and memories. Kelsey hadn't done that for years, and he couldn't be more relieved.

"Yeah, I can attest to that." He smiled, watching her chestnut hair blow back and forth as her body did the same. When she was a little girl, that hair used to be tied back in braids, and she would sit on his lap and tickle his nose with the ends.

It was silent for a few moments, just a relieved father in the backyard pushing his daughter on the swing. They'd done in time and time again when she was little, but this time felt different. Nick almost felt like they were returning to how their relationship had been when she was little, if only for a few minutes. Back when she would tell him all her problems, when she had hugs and kisses for him all the time, when she trusted him.

As Kelsey continued to let her father push her, she again started to think about her biological father. Did he think about her, as much as she thought about him? What kind of relationship would they have if he never left? Kelsey had always longed to have him return, to come surprise her one afternoon and pick her up from school. To come give her an excuse as to why he'd been gone all these years. Part of her wanted this, but part of her knew that she would never want a real relationship with him. She already had her real father right here with her, pushing her on the swing. Kelsey realized that if her father had never left, Nick could never have come into her life. He had done so much for her, and was never obligated to do so. He did it because he loved her, without question. Loved her like a father should love a daughter.

"Daddy? What did you think of me the first time you saw me?" Kelsey wondered curiously. The question caught Nick off guard. What a question – how could he describe that feeling of being instantly connected to her? To know that he wanted to have a special role in her life? Nick smiled before starting, still pushing her gently.

"I never thought I'd seen anything so precious." He told her honestly. "I'd just come to pick your mom up for our first date. You were about six months old, and you were sitting there in your little hopper, all wide-eyed, bouncing around. Your mom was running a little late and the babysitter wasn't there yet, so I told her I'd watch you while she finished getting ready. When she left, you just stared at me, like 'who is this guy, and why does he think he can date my mommy'? You started crying after only a few seconds." Nick laughed at the memory, remembering how frightened he was.

"I didn't know what to do. I'd never really been around babies before, but something told me I needed to pick you up, so I did. Your head was on my shoulder as I cradled you in my arms. I was afraid I was going to hurt you because you were so small, but then you stopped crying. You fell asleep within a few minutes, and I'd never felt anything so fulfilling as having you asleep in my arms."

Nick stopped pushing Kelsey on the swing, letting the motion slow down before grabbing the chains to stop her. Kelsey felt a tear in her eyes, hearing the story of their first meeting. He'd been her real father since the first time they'd met. Her biological father had shown no such love towards her. Nick held onto to the chains after she'd stopped, and could hear her sniffling a little, but stayed standing behind her.

"That's when I knew I loved you like a daughter. I knew I could never let anything happen to you." Nick paused, placing his hands on both her shoulders. "I still won't let anything happen to you, Kelsey." He said softly.

Kelsey felt tears flood her eyes, hearing of his devotion to her; that blind unconditional love that only a parent has for his child. DNA or not, Kelsey knew Nick was the only father she had ever known, or would ever need. She stood up and flung her arms around Nick, letting the tears out. He held her close as the relief spilled through her body. Relief in knowing that she didn't have to do this anymore. She didn't have to keep shutting them out. She didn't need her real father, because everything she needed in life was right here. Kelsey had a mother and a father who loved her more than anything, and a little sister who thought the world of her.

"Daddy, I'm sorry." She sobbed into his shirt, as he rubbed her back in support.

"I know, baby. Everything will be alright." Nick told her, kissing the top of her head. They just stayed like that for several minutes, as Nick rocked her gently and held her tightly, relieved that she finally seemed to realize.

Nick pulled her head back from his chest and held it in his hands, just taking in her face. Her expression had changed – she'd looked so angry and resentful for years now, but now her face was much softer. It was the face he knew from when she was younger, and he was still her hero. Nick kissed her forehead gently and smiled. There would be a lot of work ahead, but now that Kelsey had made the revelation that her parents were trying to help her rather than spoil her fun, they were both sure that Kelsey would finally be okay.

"Come on, baby. Let's go inside."

THE END! Finally! Well, this was really fun to write, and I hope you enjoyed the ending. Please let me know your final thoughts, and thank to everyone who read and reviewed.


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